OK, now the childish ramblings seem to have stopped and people have stopped rising to the bait. how about getting back to the issue?
Two ends, as mentioned previously: welcome new members (not necessarily noobs) and retain current members.
Welcoming new members - big splashy email. How about a return to badges and promo stuff for new members to place on their own sites? The first 'rank' for a new member is what? 'newbie poster' or something? Some may feel that that's a little condescending. OK, it's directed at no. of posts, but not many people like to be called a noob/newbie.
I like the idea of upvoting questions - something I should do more of myself. What if a good question gets a 'star' of something extra which means a 'mod/admin liked this question'. Unfortunately these types of questions are few and far between on the php forum - they tend to be rehashes of previously asked questions.
If we take the php forum as an example, there are about 3 or 4 what I would call 'experts' regularly contributing (I do not consider myself as an expert), so high level threads are a bit difficult to support. And, as reported previously, most sought-after solutions usually already exist in other php-dedicated forums (SO, being particulary useful), blogs and sites.
So how to engage and entice higher-skilled programmers? What about a return to code snippets - create the best login snippet etc. Post your code and let the community rip you to shreds - as poor old sknake found a few years ago! However, timely requests on a topic (snippet contest on a very small scale) may engage the intrepid. Snippets could be posted and then honed and 'perfected' to build a generic (or specific) solution. WHo knows, I'm just typing out loud here.
Do inactive members receive "you've been inactive for ... weeks" mails. I'm sure they do...
How about merchandise? THis has been mooted a few times over the last few years, but I've yet to see a merchandise link so I can get my DaniWeb mug. The donation button needs to come back. You buy into something, you'll be more prepared to contribute.
I particularly like Davey's articles. Long may they continue. I like articles with opinion, not just wishy-washy reviews that score everything 3 out of 5. :)
The activity page is invisible. Unless you click one of the understated links in the profile page. Why would somebody ranked 944,749th bother with these? Can they be made more relevant to the new members? Posts/week? View 944,741 - 944,760 so user casn see their progress over time? Again typing out loud