A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a
headstone inscribed "Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man."
The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and
asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
Hope this doesn't offend anyone. I heard from a guy I met at an airport, of all places.
Q: You're in a room with a lawyer, Osama Bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein and you have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
An engineer, a physicist and a lawyer were interviewed for
a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.
The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of
questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer
excused himself, and made a series of measurements and
calculations before returning to the board room and announcing,
"Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the
same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused
himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research.
After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards
and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was
interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end
of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all
the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone
was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked
"How much do you want it to be?"
Q: Before signing the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you listen for a heart beat?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So when you signed the death certificate you hadn't taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?
A: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
-- Cross of Coroner by Defense Atty
No one has posted to this discussion for at least three months. Please let old threads die and do not reply to them unless you feel you have something new and valuable to contribute that absolutely must be added to make the discussion complete. Otherwise, please start a new thread in this forum instead.
Unsolved 
Offline 
