These are quotes for anyone who hasn't heard of Steven Wright.
# "I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone."
# "I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house, and four people died."
# "I'm living on a one-way dead-end street. I don't know how I ever got there."
# "Whenever I fill out an application and it says 'In case of an emergency notify...,' I put Doctor. What the hell is my mother gonna do?"
# "I went into this restaurant that serves you breakfast at any time, so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
# "Do you think when they asked George Washington for his ID, he'd just pull out a quarter?"
# "All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."
# "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
# "I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."
# "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
# "How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"
No one has posted to this discussion for at least three months. Please let old threads die and do not reply to them unless you feel you have something new and valuable to contribute that absolutely must be added to make the discussion complete. Otherwise, please start a new thread in this forum instead.
Unsolved 
Offline 
