I think women live longer than men because we were an upgraded model of the human being.

O/T Dear Tech Support
Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child
processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and
now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Beer
Night 10.3, Cricket 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no
longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting
to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please
help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
______________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that
it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator
to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend
7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from
the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-
Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the
background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high
maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such
as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However,
be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is
to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances,
install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not
supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support