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Jul 29th, 2008
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Men rules for women

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Here is a list of rules that me and a couple of friends made a while back. By the way, if anyone has something like Women rules for men please post it here. Also if I left anything out feel free to add to the list.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the "other one "

14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

26. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Scuppery is offline Offline
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Re: Men rules for women

If you are going to plagerize something you would at least post the link where you stole it.

http://www.funny2.com/mensrules.htm
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Ancient Dragon is offline Offline
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Re: Men rules for women

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
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Ene Uran is offline Offline
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Re: Men rules for women

Scuppery, have you ever made an R-rated snow-woman?
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Lardmeister is offline Offline
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Re: Men rules for women

How many women does it take to screw in one light bulb?
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bumsfeld is offline Offline
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Aug 7th, 2008
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Re: Men rules for women

Let's put some bigotry on the other shoe:

What is the difference between a man and a government bond?
Bonds mature

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted

What does a man consider as a 7 course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped
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ZZucker is offline Offline
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Aug 7th, 2008
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Re: Men rules for women

Click to Expand / Collapse  Quote originally posted by ZZucker ...
Let's put some bigotry on the other shoe:

What is the difference between a man and a government bond?
Bonds mature

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted

What does a man consider as a 7 course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped
Ya so?
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R0bb0b is offline Offline
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since Jun 2008
Aug 10th, 2008
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Re: Men rules for women

Click to Expand / Collapse  Quote originally posted by Scuppery ...
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Last Edward checked, the problem was men leaving the seat down and pissing all over it.
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Posting Pro
Radical Edward is offline Offline
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since May 2008
Aug 11th, 2008
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Re: Men rules for women

The first time your wife sits into the toilet in the middle of the night after you left the seat up, you will not forget to put it back down again...
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Ezzaral is offline Offline
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Aug 11th, 2008
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Re: Men rules for women

Click to Expand / Collapse  Quote originally posted by Ezzaral ...
The first time your wife sits into the toilet in the middle of the night after you left the seat up, you will not forget to put it back down again...
So it is a rule that females shouldn't have to look. What if men didn't look, they just started goin in the middle of the night no matter if the toilet seat was down or up or whatever?
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R0bb0b is offline Offline
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