I'm going to start an argument here (there have been posts regarding this already)... but most of the people will say C or C++ (something that gives you C like syntax). I personally, however, would say that you should start with an easy language, to learn the simple things... like loops, subs, functions, and all the like. So, with that said, I'm going to suggest Visual Basic, in just about any form (I suggest vb6, or vb.net).

There's my 2 cents.

VB is the worst language to start with as you don't learn programming, you learn the tool. Just painting a few forms on a screen isn't programming... And hooking them up by writing a few lines of code in an event handler isn't programming either.

A good language would be Pascal or Java, though Python is also gaining exceptance with teachers for its simplicity.

Ok With all fairness I hate VB too, but it doesn't make it easy to learn a loop, or an if block?

any language will enable you to learn a loop or an if statement.
But with VB you first spent a year learning the IDE and all the nice widgets you can put on a window...

Learn the language, not the tool. Except VB prohibits that. For the same reason Delphi (which I love) should not be a first language (and in Delphi you do a lot more handcoding than in VB).

I Told You I was gonna start an argument.

Thanxs a million for the suggestions it's been a real help in helping me decide what lang to learn.

Very insightful as to what should be next for me.The research I did seems to suggest that you're right ------aleast for me anyway

How does one start to learn I have done my whole website I still dont have a clue what I am doing ( i am sure it shows) I just look at other peoples code and try and figure out what I need of it to do what I want. How do I start to really learn?

That's the first part of learning actually
Next part (which you seem ready for) is getting a solid theoretical foundation beneath that knowledge you have.
Get yourself to a bookstore and search out some good books. There's some good reviews of books about web design and html here (though not comprehensive and not all books are current, html isn't the primary focus of the site): http://www.javaranch.com/bunkhouse/HTML.jsp

Skip anything that says "teach yourself in XXX", "for dummies", etc. (but not anything by O'Reilly, their books are almost always well worth the investment).

Online tutorials range from the very good to the extremely poor and can actually do more harm than good unless you already know enough to determine which you're dealing with...

You could also consider formal training (online or classroom courses) which can teach you more in a few days than you can in months sifting through books.