I ended up encoding the video again but in Flash Encoder not just flash.
Also had to save the flv and swf in the same file with my html file(didn't work with it in resources or assets) with the control component on the website for my controls to be viewable.
Updated the path content to the final URL destination in the content path window inside the flash file before PUBLISHING the file, not exporting it. (Both create an swf file).
Upload all this with the ftp, insert swf in dreamweaver, take out the first no script tag in dreamweaver. Then it worked.