New Virus Names

[dlh6213]

The G.W. Bush Virus – Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus – Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Ronald Reagan Virus – Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Clinton Virus – Gives you a permanent hard drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus – Creates 100% CPU usage by causing your computer to keep counting and re-counting.

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus – Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus – Sucks all the data out of your computer, and then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus – Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus – Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus – Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, and then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 250 GB.

The Ellen Degenerate Virus – Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus – Totally screws up your RAM, but your CPU doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus – Only attacks minor files.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus – Turns your hard drive into a 3.5" floppy -- then discards it through Windows.

The MaryK virus – Continually accesses the same minor file, despite firewalls and other protective measures.

[american212001]

That's pretty funny stuff man :)

[kellierm8]

how bout the "my boyfriend virus" : it sits in your computer and doesn't do a thing! :p

[Arther]

for someone have a cure for the new virus,i wont you to send me how to antisipation?

[vegaseat]

This one is still looking for a name!

Warning from the Department of Energy:

There's a new computer virus on the loose that's worse than
anything we've seen before! It gets in through the power line,
riding on the powerline 60 Hz subcarrier. It works by changing the
serial port pinouts, and by reversing the direction the hard disk
spins, creating demonic messages. Over 300,000 systems have been hit
by it here in Medford, Oregon in just 45 minutes.

It attacks DOS, Unix, TOPS-20, Apple-II, VMS, MVS, Multics, Mac,
RSX-11, ITS, TRS-80, System7, OS-X, all Windows and VHS systems.

To prevent the spread of this virus (technically a trojan worm):

1) Don't use the powerline.
2) Don't use batteries either, since there are rumors that this
virus has invaded most major battery plants and is infecting the
positive poles of batteries. (You might try hooking up just
the negative pole.)
3) Don't upload or download files.
4) Don't store files on floppy disks or hard disks.
5) Don't read e-mail messages.
6) Don't use serial ports, modems, or phone lines.
7) Don't use keyboards, screens, or printers.
8) Don't use switches, CPUs, memories, microprocessors, or
mainframes.
9) Don't use anything that could create 60 Hz vibrations like
electric lights, electric or gas heat or airconditioning,
running water, writing, fire, clothing or anything that has
wheels.

We are sure, if we are all careful to follow these 9 easy steps,
this virus can be eradicated. Notify as many of your friends as
you can immediately.

[e-mail]/alert/worm/ Trojan Penetration Specialist

[dlh6213]

That's quite a worm there!

[dlh6213]

Oh no!! More!!

Politically-Correct Virus -- Never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."

Paul Revere Virus -- This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice if by C.