I doubt that you could... I'm as unfamiliar with ColdFusion as you are with PHP, however unless ColdFusion has built in functions which function in a similar fashion as their PHP counterparts, or you could write a function to do so.

If you want, you could go to PHP.net and search for each function to learn how it works. One you know what all the functions do, you may be able to fashion a similar solution in ColdFusion.

I couldn't say I have detailed knowledge in ColdFusion, however, if I'm not mistaking, CF is Macromedia's database server. This means that you can store data in CF and post or retrieve data to / from it from another environment. Little I know about the CF capabilities to generate documents like PHP or ASP.In fact the only thing I know about such capability is the CFOUTPUT function.
If you get the logic of the PHP script, I think you can translate it yourself to your application. In case you have trouble understanding what the PHP script means, well - you can always ask and you'll get your answers in detail.
If you want - I can translate the PHP script in an understandable language for you, but you have to recode the logic yourself in coldfusion or whatever your environment is.