This is also what I've found...

To paraphrase pty, look at it from a different perspective. You've had 23 girlfriends. That's more than most so you've got something good going for you. Are you still friendly with any? If so, talk to them. If it's something you do, you'll have something to work on.

Flaco .... Mejo,

How do you feel right now that you've read all the posts?

You know an old surfer that I really admired, the gals just flocked around him ... he wasn't a pretty boy type ... he had a shaved head like i have know, a little gut.. but he was realy cool..confident, friendly and comfortable with himself, once told me ..He doesn't give advice ... he gives knowledge and It was up to me to either use it or just "file" it.

I was kinda feeling sorry for myself .. I was in a slump .. I wasn't bln, tall and handsome. I was short, dark and mysterious ... LOL... An the gals weren't looking for that around that time..

He told me that woman were like waves. You find one, ride it , enjoy the ride or bail if youre gonna wipe out or if its a good one you ride out to the shore and enjoy it.. He said sometimes you don't even find them ...when you don't find them .. you just enjoy the ocean ...cuz you know eventually .. not necessarily that day.

You know I was thinkin' old man I need help right now ..I don't need stories... It was about a month before I realized what he meant.

Well the story came back to haunt me everytime i broke up or got divorced... I gotta admit ...I'm a slow learner. But I learned what it meant.

You know as old as I am ... I use the info still. You just gotta be yourself and enjoy the ride or the travel. You know ...when I stopped getting upset with myself or the gals .. I enjoy the finding of new waves, riding out ... I don't wipe out as mcuh anymore. I seem to enjoy all the women and girls i meet ... I thinks they're special and have their unique ways... i don't try to change them or change for them .. I just enjoy them and love em'.

You know ... I'm at the point right now where I'm friends with my former wives and girlfriends... It's all about attitude and perception.

But it didn't happen overnite .. Alot of my friends that are woman or girls ask how come i'm so easy to get along with ... I tell them ... it took alot of girlfriends or wives just to housebreatk me ... And time alone to figure out what I was doing ... and time alone to get comfortable with myself.. If you can get to the point where you really enjoy them and comfortable and confident ... your there! I'm almost 50 and when I was younger .. I thought that I wouldn't be like that old surfer.

I still surf, I'm bald, short dark, mysterious, and handsome (attitude and perception) And I don't just make friends with the cute gals. I make friends with all the gals..woman,moms, grandmas...babies. Its just a natural part of me now.. oh! I smile and laugh alot also.

ok but is like these I got a job am gonna get my apartment in like 2 months and I want a girl to take care of get what am saying.

Sound like you've made up your mind. It's a process of getting out there and not really lookin' but get in the line up, kinda be out there for the waves, socially network, do stuff where you will meet people .. you know .. people can hook you up .. you gotta see what's out there .. you don't have to look but "See".

See what the other guys that are successful are doing also .. If you like what they are doing ... or you can see yurself doing that ... then do it.. as long as no one gets hurt.

For awhile, I was trying to be what was uncomfortable for me when I was about 19-20 and I hurt one girl's feeling (I felt like shit for that one)... the other time I was about 38 and I hurt another girls feelings...

Its true I was not getting dumped ... but those two times taught me a lesson... Don't be a jerk .. and don't lead somebody on that your not serious about...

Good Luck Surfing Flaco .. remember "See the waves, jump the good ones, ride it out and avoid wipeouts.... and if you can't find waves .... well it was a good day on the ocean ... and there will always be next time.

Oh! Almost forgot ... About the job ..new surroundings and the apartment... Hey Have Fun ...It's all good ... Life's an adventure!

Flaco .. I forgot to tell you .. I had a stroke last year .. lost my right side .. couldn't talk for about three months.... I was kinda depressed, didn't think I would date again .. let alone live... I was diagnosed with kidney failure and heart failure ...

I woke up and realized that I didn't wanna llive this way ... so I fought, motivated, prayed, meditated, dieted, listened to good music, read and watched good stuff .... and people were thinkin good thoughts for me and supportive... I'm amazed what the spirit and well "guts or balls" can do ... My heart test was good, brain healed, kidneys healed, i got my voice back, and I met alot of pretty medical people and people in hospitals along the way...

I'm doing 1/2 -3/4 or my activities that I did before the stroke..
when you appreciate the little things in life and your glad to be alive every day... "the keepers" (Great woman or girls) like being around you and they find you or you'll just bump into them .. in my case literally .... REMEMBER YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN TO SEE...

Attitude and Aloha (Look Up This Word on the Hawaiian Sites for the True Meanings)

I won't give you the easy solutions ... just like I won't live your life for you. When you're older and give this info to someone .. and you will ..
You'll just smile, cuz you'll understand what I mean.

ME KE ALOHA PUMEHANA, HILINA'I, PU'WAI MELE NA'AU AO, AND NA KUPUNA WILL BE WATCHING.

NOW GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY ...LIVE LIFE .. FIND LIGHT

No - don't try to be anyone else, no matter how well-off they seem to be. Be yourself, and do what you were meant to do. If you try to imitate someone, you're just worse off than when you started. I think most relationships (and this isn't just romantic ones) flourish when people are honest with each other, and aren't pretending to be someone they aren't. It's called trust.

And think of it this way: if you put all your hope in something, your whole life and emotions depend on this one thing (at least, until you decide there's something else you would rather have in the center of your life). So if you place all your hope in girls, it's rather foolish because no relationship comes with a contract. You cannot predict or control your girlfriend's life. And you're going to be disappointed at some time or another.

So choose carefully in what you are going to depend on. Because nothing in this universe is going to last - not even Earth itself.

"I think most relationships (and this isn't just romantic ones) flourish when people are honest with each other, and aren't pretending to be someone they aren't. It's called trust."

Yes. IMO, this is the most important element in any relationship, trust (and it is also very hard to come by it seems.)

Regards,
Matty D.

People I have read your post clearly and I decided to stop searching and just stay in my job now when the day comes I hope soon I will be so happy but am still depressed why?I need some love or is it normal?Or am I just plain desperate or stupid?

Do you like your job? If you enjoy your job (or as much as is possible), I see no reason to keep searching. Perhaps you can relax a little bit.

Discover what you are meant to do. Everyone has talents, so uncover them. Find out what you really love to do.

May I just quote someone (I can't remember who's signature I read this from or I would acknowledge him/her):

"Depression is merely anger without aggression"

I think it's partly true; it's alright to get mad about something, but don't stay that way. Let your anger out, or else it will bottle up inside you. Then you won't wake up with a feeling of not knowing your meaning.

This is by no means unnormal. Millions of people struggle with depression, and, amazingly, it seems to be especially worse for people who are well-off. Be patient, and eventually you'll find the right person. Don't push it, or you'll end up crashing to the ground. Relax, and don't feel bad about yourself.

Also when I listen to music that talk about the same situation I am it hurts real bad I have these song I here and it makes me cry almost all of the time is that normal?