well how about these..
Cigarette:
A Pinch Of Tobacco Rolled In Paper With Fire At One End & A Fool At The Other.
Love Affairs:
Something Like Cricket Where One-Day
Internationals Are More Popular Than A Five Day Test.
Marriage:
It's An Agreement In Which A Man Loses His Bachelor Degree
And A Woman Gains Her Master...
Divorce:
Future Tense Of Marriage...
Lecture:
An Art Of Transferring Information From The Notes Of The Lecturer
To The Notes Of The Students Without Passing Through "The Minds Of Either".
Conference:
The Confusion Of One Man Multiplied By The Number Present...
Compromise:
The Art Of Dividing A Cake In Such A Way That Everybody Believes He Got The Biggest Piece.
Tears:
The Hydraulic Force By Which Masculine Will-Power Is Defeated By Feminine Water-Power.
Dictionary:
A Place Where Divorce Comes Before Marriage and Success Before Work...
Conference Room:
A Place Where Everybody Talks, Nobody Listens & Everybody Disagrees Later On.
Ecstasy:
A Feeling When You Feel You Are Going To Feel A Feeling You Have Never Felt Before.
Classic:
A Book Which People Praise, But Do Not Read.
Smile:
A Curve That Can Set A Lot Of Things Straight.
Office:
A Place Where You Can Relax After Your Strenuous Home Life.
Yawn:
The Only Time Some Married Men Ever Get To Open Their Mouth.
Etc.:
A Sign To Make Others Believe That You Know More Than You Actually Do.
Committee:
Individuals Who Can Do Nothing Individually And Sit To Decide That Nothing Can Be Done Together.
Experience :
The Name Men Give To Their Mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An Invention To End All Inventions.
Philosopher:
A Fool Who Torments Himself During Life, To Be Spoken Of When Dead.
Diplomat:
A Person Who Tells You To Go To Hell In Such A Way That You Actually Look Forward To The Trip.
Opportunist:
A Person Who Starts Taking Bath If He Accidentally Falls Into A River.
Optimist:
A Person Who While Falling From Eiffel Tower Says In Midway "See I Am Not Injured Yet."
Pessimist:
A Person Who Says That O Is The Last Letter In ZERO, Instead Of The First Letter In Word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser:
A Person Who Lives Poor So That He Can Die Rich.
Father:
A Banker Provided By Nature.
Criminal:
A Guy No Different From The Rest... Except That He Got Caught.
Boss:
Someone Who Is Early When You Are Late And Late When You Are Early.
Politician:
One Who Shakes Your Hand Before Elections And Your Confidence After.
Doctor:
A Person Who Kills Your Ills By Pills, And Kills You With His Bills.
