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We need to laugh...
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Originally Posted by Aia 
Christina, my wife laughed with that one.
just joking
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,329
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Haha. 
I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough. -The Notebook
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 871
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Practically a Posting Shark
1.A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Mr.X stands up- we must find & stop her!.
2.Mr.X-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Mr.X -If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?
3. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
4.Mr.X was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!
5.Mr.X told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant : it's already raining.
Mr.X: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.
6.Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.
7.Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
8. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
9.Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"
10.Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Mr.X stands up- we must find & stop her!.
2.Mr.X-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Mr.X -If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?
3. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
4.Mr.X was filling up application form for a job. He was
not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!
5.Mr.X told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant : it's already raining.
Mr.X: So what? Take an
umbrella and go.
6.Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.
7.Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
8. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
9.Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"
10.Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
Adios,
Vinod......
Vinod......
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,210
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What a bad day for a foursome of golf! Charlie dropped dead on the third hole.
So for the rest of the day, it was "Hit the ball, drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie...."
So for the rest of the day, it was "Hit the ball, drag Charlie, hit the ball, drag Charlie...."
Daylight-saving time uses more gasoline
Low bridge, everybody down!!!
The 3 Laws of the Procrastination Society:
1) Never do today that which can be put off until tomorrow
2) Tomorrow never comes
1) Never do today that which can be put off until tomorrow
2) Tomorrow never comes
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,619
Reputation: 
Solved Threads: 468
Here is another:
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NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN!!
A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends.
We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I'v been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up" "Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?"
You'll love the answer...
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The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box....."
Last edited by ~s.o.s~; Jun 8th, 2007 at 1:35 pm.
I don't accept change; I don't deserve to live.
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