1. Life as we know it is a dirty trick.

2. Using the product voids the warranty.

3. Every time someone perfects a foolproof device, someone else perfects a better fool.

4. As soon as you tell someone the truth, somebody else changes what the truth is. Example:

A to B: "Your box is on the kitchen table."

C enters room: "Hey! Whose box was that which I just moved from the kitchen table to the closet."

5. Nothing will make a hidden defect in a digital product show up faster than releasing the product for sale will.

6. A CD player is just as useless without CDs as the CDs are useless without a CD player.

7. Once you standardize your music into one recording format, that format will be discontinued.

8. Actions speak louder, but politicians STILL won't shut up.

9. If you set n mousetraps, the (n+1)th mouse gets all of the cheese.

10. Nothing can make a job take longer than imposing a deadline does.

11. A late bus is no excuse to give to an early boss.

12. Never underestimate the power of stupidity.

13. You can tell when Democrats and Liberals have no valid argument in any debate. That's when they start using pejoratives, calling names, twisting the words of others, and all of the other Politically Incorrect things they continually scold others for doing.