I think you should narrow down your targeting to specific community, demography, culture and specific age to your niche area, it will help you to focus properly.

To be noticed by search engines... create lot of backlinks to your site.

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There are some low buget tools that you can you to make people aware of yoursite. I started SNIP over a year ago and the site is growing.
1: Purchase email marketing softwae.
2: Use Marketing sites to create your own email campaigns
3: Purchase email list from Marketing firms.
4: Swop links if you can to other website.
These are just a few tips to get you started there are others tricks of the traid that you will learn as you dig deeper into the dating world.

SEO helps promote your site. Its what we call the process of improving the volume and quality of traffic to a website on search engines via natural search results on targeted keywords.

Remember these things with regards to SEO:
* On-Page Optimization (its done within your site) It deals with the proper use of title tags, description, alt tags, h1/h2 tags, meta tags and description.
* Off-Page Optimization (done outside your site) It deals with building links.

To get decent traffic do the following:
- Submit articles to article directories
- Submit press release
- Use forums regularly, place eye-catching signatures
- Use social bookmarking
- Social networks like facebook, myspace, orkut
- Craiglist, classified ads
- Blog networks
- Write articles on Hubpages
- Post video on youtube & metacafe
To get optimized result you have to focus on the quality of ur site. Use classified ads to make ur site popular. If you have good female members then its a plus point for you. Post attractive youtube videos. And finally participate on Yahoo answer, this is the best place to go.

A dating site is a hot niche pal, but at the same time it has hot competition, one of the first things you should do after its launch is find out some adult related forums and get active on them, start publishing articles on hubpages and squidoo and with just $200 you can send out a good press release all of this can get you a pr2 so then if you hav got a bit of budget for advertising, then advertise on porn and dating sites. one of the hottest ways is create or just spider some sexy videos, put your url and upload it to all video sites like youtube and metacafe.

Best of luck

Use social media and take part in dating niche sites to get traffic

There are only two ways to get traffic to your site, you either practise SEO or go with pay per click programs (you can also advertise on other related sites) but you will get the best result by doing all these together.