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Men rules for women
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Here is a list of rules that me and a couple of friends made a while back. By the way, if anyone has something like Women rules for men please post it here. Also if I left anything out feel free to add to the list.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the "other one "
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
26. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the "other one "
14. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.
22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
26. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 15,502
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If you are going to plagerize something you would at least post the link where you stole it.
http://www.funny2.com/mensrules.htm
http://www.funny2.com/mensrules.htm
Don't PM me with questions -- you might get a nasty PM in response. If you have a question then post it in one of the forums.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,546
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Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
drink her pretty
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,545
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 22
Scuppery, have you ever made an R-rated snow-woman?
I upped my sanitary measures, up yours!
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,221
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How many women does it take to screw in one light bulb?
Should you find Irony, you can keep her!
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 666
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Practically a Master Poster
Let's put some bigotry on the other shoe:
What is the difference between a man and a government bond?
Bonds mature
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted
What does a man consider as a 7 course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped
What is the difference between a man and a government bond?
Bonds mature
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted
What does a man consider as a 7 course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped
Never argue with idiots, they'll just bring you down to their level and beat you with their experience.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 849
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 67
Practically a Posting Shark
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Originally Posted by ZZucker 
Let's put some bigotry on the other shoe:
What is the difference between a man and a government bond?
Bonds mature
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted
What does a man consider as a 7 course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss
-- The documentation is inevitable, you may get away with it for a little while but eventually you too will have to do the deed.
-- The documentation is inevitable, you may get away with it for a little while but eventually you too will have to do the deed.
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 351
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 62
Posting Whiz
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Originally Posted by Scuppery
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do succeed.
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 4,492
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 519
The first time your wife sits into the toilet in the middle of the night after you left the seat up, you will not forget to put it back down again...
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 849
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Solved Threads: 67
Practically a Posting Shark
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Originally Posted by Ezzaral
The first time your wife sits into the toilet in the middle of the night after you left the seat up, you will not forget to put it back down again...
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss
-- The documentation is inevitable, you may get away with it for a little while but eventually you too will have to do the deed.
-- The documentation is inevitable, you may get away with it for a little while but eventually you too will have to do the deed.
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