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Republican Humor
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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Posting Pro in Training
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No one died when Clinton lied.
If I helped you I would appreciate it if you would give me some reputation.
Follow the new Social Network Planet Zuda On twitter. Planet Zuda should go live sometime in 2010.
Follow the new Social Network Planet Zuda On twitter. Planet Zuda should go live sometime in 2010.
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Posting Pro in Training
Democrats are so dumb that when they hack they use the same alias that they use all the time to post that they did the crime!
Republicans don't hack they let the democrats release the cat out of the bag their selves. I mean it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know why they let everything out of the bag; they are part jackass part rat I guess that makes them a ratass.
Republicans don't hack they let the democrats release the cat out of the bag their selves. I mean it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know why they let everything out of the bag; they are part jackass part rat I guess that makes them a ratass.
Last edited by tiger86; Oct 18th, 2008 at 3:11 am.
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Junior Poster in Training
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Originally Posted by tiger86 
Democrats are so dumb that when they hack they use the same alias that they use all the time to post that they did the crime!
Republicans don't hack they let the democrats release the cat out of the bag their selves. I mean it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know why they let everything out of the bag; they are part jackass part rat I guess that makes them a ratass.
If I want that kind of guff, I listen to Sarah Palin.
Last edited by HiHe; Oct 18th, 2008 at 10:31 am. Reason: Love Sarah
In C you can code our own bugs, in C++ you can inherit them.
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A Republican found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said : "I will grant you one wish."
He said: "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him smarter. The next day the Republican turned into a Democrat.
He said: "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him smarter. The next day the Republican turned into a Democrat.
No one died when Clinton lied.
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A democrat was abducted by an alien spaceship. The aliens did many tests on the democrat and they found that the Democrat's DNA was a cross of a donkey (jackass) and a rat which the aliens had confirmed was a household pesk.
They returned the Democrat to earth with a few alterations he had a rat's tail and a brain of a donkey.
They returned the Democrat to earth with a few alterations he had a rat's tail and a brain of a donkey.
Last edited by tiger86; Oct 21st, 2008 at 1:18 am.
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Originally Posted by tiger86
A democrat was abducted by an alien spaceship. The aliens did many tests on the democrat and they found that the Democrat's DNA was a cross of a donkey (jackass) and a rat which the aliens had confirmed was a household pesk.
They returned the Democrat to earth with a few alterations he had a rat's tail and a brain of a donkey.
Let me show you how this done, here are the 10 top excuses for Dick Cheney why he shot his hunting pal:
10. Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm
9. Wanted to get the Iraq mess of the front page
8. Not enough Jim Beam
7. Trying to stop the spread of bird flu
6. I love to shoot people
5. Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter
4. I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me
3. Excuse? I hit him didn't I?
2. Until Democrats approve Medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly
1. Made bet with Gretzgy's wife
Or try something cute like that:
"Sarah Palin and McCain are a good pair. She's pro-life and he's clinging to life."
Or:
"Have you seen the new commercial? The McCain campaign compares Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. And today the Obama campaign released an ad comparing John McCain to Zsa Zsa Gabor and Bea Arthur."
Or:
"Are you excited about Sarah Palin? Well, the other day she referred to Afghanistan as our neighboring country. Apparently, she can see bin Laden's cave from her house."
Last edited by Lardmeister; Oct 21st, 2008 at 11:09 am.
I upped my sanitary measures, up yours!
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A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the biker says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.’
The biker replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’
The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist from the New York Times, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, ‘I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.’
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the biker says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.’
The biker replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.’
The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist from the New York Times, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, ‘I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.’
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
"One of the methods used by statists to destroy capitalism consists in establishing controls that tie a given industry hand and foot, making it unable to solve its problems, then declaring that freedom has failed and stronger controls are necessary." --Ayn Rand
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Dave, now that is funny, because it is the thruth.
More Republican (socialism for the rich) humor:
http://www.vgg.com/kfc/index.html
Closer to home:
This perk is one that kicks into high gear toward the end of any administration, the painting of official portraits at taxpayers' expense. What you may not know is that this little perk isn't reserved for presidents, cabinet (any) members get them too. Wouldn't you like John D. Ashcroft, Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney , Donald H. Rumsfeld or Alberto Gonzales smile down on you? Order now!
More Republican (socialism for the rich) humor:
http://www.vgg.com/kfc/index.html
Closer to home:
This perk is one that kicks into high gear toward the end of any administration, the painting of official portraits at taxpayers' expense. What you may not know is that this little perk isn't reserved for presidents, cabinet (any) members get them too. Wouldn't you like John D. Ashcroft, Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney , Donald H. Rumsfeld or Alberto Gonzales smile down on you? Order now!
Last edited by sneekula; Oct 22nd, 2008 at 11:15 am.
No one died when Clinton lied.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,461
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I hope finding the humor in this one isn't too offbeat.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thed...d-newswee.html
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thed...d-newswee.html
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Hey, is that even the right way to hold a rifle? Can't you shoot your foot off like that?
"One of the methods used by statists to destroy capitalism consists in establishing controls that tie a given industry hand and foot, making it unable to solve its problems, then declaring that freedom has failed and stronger controls are necessary." --Ayn Rand
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,553
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 22
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Hey, is that even the right way to hold a rifle? Can't you shoot your foot off like that?
Last edited by Lardmeister; Oct 22nd, 2008 at 1:39 pm.
I upped my sanitary measures, up yours!
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