blinding -> "Owww, my eyes!!!" :)

pad --> landing

No thanks > Pass the butter, please...
Not sure where I got that from, but it was the first thing that came to mind, so I posted it :D

You get a flat tire.
I put in an asterisk --> *

neighbor --> computer-illiterate (my next-door neighbor needed to call me over to ask how to put a CD in his computer)

You get... nothing. The machine is broken at the moment.

Nevertheless, I put in a quarter (like any "normal" vending machine user would do :))

sin --> bad

popup windows. Then

Gesticulating slimy smidgenhammers thrust yak crustacean across a purple-sploched chessboard.

You get New England clam chowder. I put in New York clam chowder (or whatever the red kind is)

You get 200 Gmail invites. (No, really, want a few?) I put in my low battery pop up notification

Mammoth smidgenhammers were hairy, frightful, on steroids, always eating inconceivable objects.

BTW, the original sentence was a lot shorter. I think they added words.