Yes Sir!!

Now get thee ass to bed. Hopefully, see you in the morning. Rest well.

Hmmmmmmm now Celtic, before you get too exasperated (darn it the other pc, just booted down automatically for...

No. Pray, do tell me, for I cannot stick this ruddy country, it gets right up my blinkin nose, first, all it ever does is rains non friggin stop, b/ the people here generally are as miserable as...

Oakey doakey, the old P11 is up and running, streuth, I did it!!

OK, would you mind holding my hand, metaphorically speaking of course, and take me step by step on how to do this, only I'm lost...

Ok here is what I am going to do. I have just somehow put online another old P11 pc, got it online, would you mind if you have time, taking me through step by step on the process of what I have to...

Ok I am trying to follow your instructions to the letter.

I got as far as seeing the hidden files after pressing F8 continuously. They appeared in white letters on a black background.

A few...

You said:

Click on the upper edge of the screen and drag it down until you notice a cross in the upper right corner. Click the cross to close the screen and you will have access to your real...

Hmmmmmm now I'm tempted to agree with you, please advise what I ought to get rid of.

Too, in the past two hours tonight I have had a hell of a job just getting my connection back up and running,...

OK I clicked on Web after doing the Control Panel thingermejiggy but can't see no box with any delete function or something or other???

Sorry I'm getting a bit slow at this only it is 4:51 in the morning here and I'm ever so knackered. Tell me, have I done it right this time, only I think I followed your instructions to the letter. ...

Logfile of HijackThis v1.99.1
Scan saved at 04:47:41, on 06/06/2005
Platform: Windows 2000 SP4 (WinNT 5.00.2195)
MSIE: Internet Explorer v6.00 SP1 (6.00.2800.1106)

Running processes:...

Ok I'll try, I'm sooo sorry to be such an annoyance.

As a present for you in the meantime feel free to peruse my landscape photographs: http://inlunarsunphotography.myphotoalbum.com/
In your...

I've done it wrong I bet havn't I? It's ok, call me a balmpot!!

I've edited this section for I was not sure whether it was wise to post the entire logfile here. Is that what you need me to do?

Apologies for being so cantankerous.

Ok I cocked up I can see that, my apologies.

I followed your instructions ( I think (hopefully)):

Click "Start", "Settings", and then click "Control Panel". Open the "Display" applet.
Click...

Not sure that I have / am doing the right thing here, but here goes:

http://www.hijackthis.de/index.php#anl

Some of what you say makes sense, the rest is like the French language, however - Do I now copy and paste the contents into my next reply or ought I to put the dooberry somewhere else? My apologies...

Thanbk you for taking the time to assist with this.

You say that once I have downloaded the self extracting zip file (done) to double click on the file something or other. How do I do this? What...

A few days ago I accidentally inadvertently clicked upon a popup ad that I was trying to get rid of and a black screen appeared on my desktop replacing my wallpaper with a message that still reads,...

May I ask for anyones assistance please?

This started happening a couple of days ago.

Start the computer up. Fill in the administrators password. A few seconds later the screen freezes...