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Lawyer Joke of the Day
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,521
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How lawyers do it:
Lawyers do it with appeal.
Lawyers do it confidentially.
Lawyers do it on a trial basis.
Lawyers do it until justice prevails.
Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them.
Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law.
Lawyers do it with appeal.
Lawyers do it confidentially.
Lawyers do it on a trial basis.
Lawyers do it until justice prevails.
Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them.
Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law.
I upped my sanitary measures, up yours!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,273
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Q: "What can a goose do, that a duck can't do, and a lawyer should do?"
A: "Stick his bill up his pooper."
A: "Stick his bill up his pooper."
No one died when Clinton lied.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,273
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Q: "What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?"
A: "The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes."
A: "The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes."
No one died when Clinton lied.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,673
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Congress debating fiscal responsibility.
"We Americans got so tired of being thought of as dumb by the rest of the world that we went to the polls last November and removed all doubt."
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,340
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Heh.
"One of the methods used by statists to destroy capitalism consists in establishing controls that tie a given industry hand and foot, making it unable to solve its problems, then declaring that freedom has failed and stronger controls are necessary." --Ayn Rand
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,521
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Dave, nice sense of comedy.
Q: "What's the difference between God and an attorney?"
A: "God doesn't think he's an attorney."
Q: "What's the difference between God and an attorney?"
A: "God doesn't think he's an attorney."
Last edited by Lardmeister; Sep 27th, 2008 at 4:33 pm.
I upped my sanitary measures, up yours!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,273
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 175
A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The new statement included this item:
"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. --- $150.00."
"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. --- $150.00."
No one died when Clinton lied.
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,221
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Fred walks into the post office one day and sees one middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
Fred's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?' "
"But why?" asks Fred.
"I'm successful divorce lawyer."
Fred's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?' "
"But why?" asks Fred.
"I'm successful divorce lawyer."
Should you find Irony, you can keep her!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,273
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"Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer."
~~~ quoted by Will Rogers
~~~ quoted by Will Rogers
No one died when Clinton lied.
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,221
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Solved Threads: 137
One gang of robbers broke into the lawyer's club. The legal lions gave them one fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"
Should you find Irony, you can keep her!
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