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Republican Humor
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,273
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Everybody tells me that Republicans don't have a sense of humor. If you are a Republican, here is your chance to disprove this offending assumption.
I am a Republican, and I can't think of anything related to humor, but I am working on it.
I am a Republican, and I can't think of anything related to humor, but I am working on it.
No one died when Clinton lied.
My my, you are opening yourself up on this one.
(Isn't Bush regarded as a joke?)
(Isn't Bush regarded as a joke?)
Last edited by briansmall; Jan 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,358
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Originally Posted by sneekula 
Everybody tells me that Republicans don't have a sense of humor.
There's a lot of jokes out there, most of them are running for office.
"One of the methods used by statists to destroy capitalism consists in establishing controls that tie a given industry hand and foot, making it unable to solve its problems, then declaring that freedom has failed and stronger controls are necessary." --Ayn Rand
If you want a Republican with himour, Ronald Reagan (may he rest in peace) was a prime example.
As people are clearly allowed to attack me but I'm not allowed to defend myself, I no longer post to this site.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,009
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I heard this from a 120% Republican:
You have to admit that this is darn clever humour. Of course I don't spit, I use a sponge.
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The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of President Bush to honor his achievements. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. After a month's testing, a special presidential commission made the following findings:
The stamp was in perfect order.
There was nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
People were simply spitting on the wrong side.
May 'the Google' be with you!
yes, most Republicans think GWB is far too leftist and has sold them out to the "democrats".
As people are clearly allowed to attack me but I'm not allowed to defend myself, I no longer post to this site.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 666
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Practically a Master Poster
It is just as important that business keep out of government, as that government keep out of business.
-- Herbert Hoover
-- Herbert Hoover
Never argue with idiots, they'll just bring you down to their level and beat you with their experience.
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,203
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1. Sign: DEMOC RAT EXTERMINATORS
2. Why is it that Democrats throw most of the stuff found along the road out of car windows?
3. A man is drowning 50 feet from shore. A Republican throws a 40 foot rope, and requires the drowning man to swim 10 feet. A Democrat throws a 100 foot rope, but then he lets go of his end to run down the beach to save someone else.
4. The problem with Democrat economics is that each Democrat is too lazy to do the math himself, and assumes that some other Democrat did the math that shows the plan works. In reality, the math is never done.
5. How can Democrats blame Republicans for wasteful spending, and in the next breath, promise to support an unnecessary expenditure such as the arts?
6. The easiest job, if you do not want to think, is to become a Democrat politician.
7. How can Democrats portray President Bush as a total simpleton, and in the next breath portray him as such a clever criminal that nobody can catch him in a crime?
8. The one thing missing from most Democrat social programs is a source of income other than a magic fairy that bestows wealth.
9.
Reagan: What is this Pac Man I keep hearing about?
Aide: It's a round thing that eats money.
Reagan: Oh! It's Tip O'Neill.
10. How can a man who has killed someone in a drunk driving accident be a US Senator?
11. Some Democrats dream of a 100 percent tax rate. But the problem with that thought is that nobody would work if they didn't get paid.
12. The only thing that explains some Democrat programs is that Democrats think with their hearts. Their brains have never been used.
13. Since when is violating the tenets of the Politically Correct religion an impeachable act?
2. Why is it that Democrats throw most of the stuff found along the road out of car windows?
3. A man is drowning 50 feet from shore. A Republican throws a 40 foot rope, and requires the drowning man to swim 10 feet. A Democrat throws a 100 foot rope, but then he lets go of his end to run down the beach to save someone else.
4. The problem with Democrat economics is that each Democrat is too lazy to do the math himself, and assumes that some other Democrat did the math that shows the plan works. In reality, the math is never done.
5. How can Democrats blame Republicans for wasteful spending, and in the next breath, promise to support an unnecessary expenditure such as the arts?
6. The easiest job, if you do not want to think, is to become a Democrat politician.
7. How can Democrats portray President Bush as a total simpleton, and in the next breath portray him as such a clever criminal that nobody can catch him in a crime?
8. The one thing missing from most Democrat social programs is a source of income other than a magic fairy that bestows wealth.
9.
Reagan: What is this Pac Man I keep hearing about?
Aide: It's a round thing that eats money.
Reagan: Oh! It's Tip O'Neill.
10. How can a man who has killed someone in a drunk driving accident be a US Senator?
11. Some Democrats dream of a 100 percent tax rate. But the problem with that thought is that nobody would work if they didn't get paid.
12. The only thing that explains some Democrat programs is that Democrats think with their hearts. Their brains have never been used.
13. Since when is violating the tenets of the Politically Correct religion an impeachable act?
Daylight-saving time uses more gasoline
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,203
Reputation:
Solved Threads: 164
Republicans read the financial pages in the newspaper. Democrats use them to line the birdcage.
Republicans always close their blinds, though there is seldom any reason why they need to. Democrats ought to, but don't.
Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the US. The remainder is thrown out.
Republicans sleep in separate beds, sometimes in separate rooms. That's why there are more Democrats.
Republicans always close their blinds, though there is seldom any reason why they need to. Democrats ought to, but don't.
Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the US. The remainder is thrown out.
Republicans sleep in separate beds, sometimes in separate rooms. That's why there are more Democrats.
Daylight-saving time uses more gasoline
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