I read this in a cubicle the other day:
"Heisenberg may or may not have been here."

If your children ever find out how lame you really are they'll murder you in your sleep.

Frank Zappa

I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the kind that we experience in ourselves.

Neither can I nor would I want to conceive of an individual that survives his physical death; let feeble souls, from fear or absurd egoism, cherish such thoughts.

I am satisfied with the mystery of the eternity of life and with the awareness and a glimpse of the marvelous structure of the existing world, together with the devoted striving to comprehend a portion, be it ever so tiny, of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.

--- Albert Einstein

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."
Quoted by Winston Churchill

"I think the American people — I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me."
Quoted by George W. Bush

The lighter side of life:
Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women make us drink beer.
-- Al Bundy

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
(Albert Einstein)

Note: or any other grandmother

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
Quoted by Somerset Maugham

To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.
~~~ George Washington

Another one goes something like this:

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