Disaster Rap!


I turned on my PC ‘cause I wanted to have fun
Wouldn’t you just know it, an error message come
It said ‘Check your consistency� and I said ‘Hey�
I do the damned same thing nearly every bloody day!

I told the thing ‘OK’ and it started to whirr and grind
When I got to the desktop not a damned thing could I find.
Then another message popped up saying a file was bloody missed
Then another and another and I started to feel pissed
So I rebooted my PC, not to be outdone
But no files on the Hard Drive, not a SINGLE BLOODY ONE!

I thought “I know what’s happened, I’ve been done by hacker kids�
“I’ll fix em, just watch me. They’ll soon be on the skids�
So I popped my CD in to format my hard drive
Install Windows, get it clean again and now it looks alive.
Downloading all those updates gonna be an awful grind
Dial-up bloody DoDo sure does take it’s blasted time.


I’m feeling pretty clever, gonna have a little brag
I’ll write to PC User, try to get into their mag.
Typed it out just dandy, every tiny little bit
I’m smiling as I send it, but what’s that…….. OH BLOODY SH*T!

My face is red, I’m sweating as I utter words obscene
Because I’m sitting here watching an empty blasted screen.
Take it off down to the workshop to see what has gone wrong
Oh dear, they just told me, the Hard Drive’s had the gong!

Is rap OK?

Here's one I did a while back in answer to a reader question for my work site :