Alcohol does make you more attractive to the opposite sex. After they've drunk it.


Sorry if an old one - but very very funny.

Attacking CNS.. braintoeyes.. short term effect.. ahihihi... good for hours?! ahihihi...

Why do bikers where leather?

Because chiffon wrinkles.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Why do guys like girls that wear leather?



They smell like a new car.

sounds like women are special kind of vehicle???

(just kidding)

A dying man gathered three of his best friends, a Lawyer, a Doctor and a Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an brown envelope containing $50,000 in cash. He asked them to put these envelopes into his coffin before it gets closed and buried, so he could have some money in his after-life.

After the funeral the Clergyman is in tears and confesses to the others that he took $20,000 out of the envelope for a good church cause. The Doctor admits that he donated $30,000 of the envelope's content for medical research. The Lawyer is upset with his two old friends, "Why, I put a personal check of the full amount in the envelope!"

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ”Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband — he thinks he’s a refrigerator!””I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” the doctor replies. ‘Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.”

”But you don’t understand,” the woman insists. ”He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.”

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, "Save the women!"

George W. Bush hysterically hollers, "Screw the women!"

Bill Clinton's asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

Man "I’d like to call you. What’s your number?"
Woman "It’s in the phone book."
Man "But I don’t know your name."
Woman "That’s in the phone book too."