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Ten New Linux Distributions Inspired by News Stories

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(khess)
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I've run across ten new Linux distributions inspired by current news stories. Some, of course, are better than others and a few just have no practical use or purpose whatsoever but still are worth a mention. These ten distributions are in no particular order of my preference or relevance. Maybe you've run across some of them too in your Internet travels.

1. Lohanix - This cute little gem is still not mature but it sure is fun to use. It has all the latest gadgetry and accessories to keep you occupied for minutes at a time. The best part of this distro is that it works well in or out of rehab facilities.

2. BPix - BPix doesn't work well under pressure nor is it good at real 'in-depth' work but its slick new interface is perfect for those offshore workers. This one should really clean up near the US coastline.

3. Googlix - A search-oriented desktop is the only way to describe this distro that brings you speed, agility and global accessibility with no Microsoft software in sight. Downloads of this inspiring operating system is blocked in some countries.

4. JoranvanderSlootix - A Dutch language distro that is a bit of a renegade among other "tamer" distributions. Young college women should stay clear of this distro at all costs. Seems to have a disappearing user base.

5. Onebuttonix - This one has taken its simplistic design features from another operating system with its oversimplified, "our users are too stupid to use a real computer" interface. It has a fanatical following who're willing to pay top dollar for its minimalist design and pricey accessories. Too the disappointment of many, Prius and sandals are not included with the base model.

6. Sinkholeix - This distro seems to have appeared out of nowhere. In fact, I'm not even sure how it got on this list.

7. SocialMediaix - A distro specifically designed for people with too much free time on their hands. The innovative Loser interface is simple and impressive with its "write once, update everywhere" single purpose main screen. Its tagline is "Who do you want to bore today?"

8. Prosportsix - This interesting distro is created by overpaid developers who'd rather focus on their endorsements and singing careers rather than their product. I keep thinking that if people would stop using it, that it would go away.

9. Rockstarix - This fast-booting distro might make your brain bleed with its speed and hot applications. It has a built-in GPS auto-locator for liquor stores and rehab facilities. This one enjoyed early popularity but has made a comeback among distro nostalgia buffs.

10. Politix - This distro fails miserably at almost every task given it. It's expensive and inefficient but continues to thrive in spite of its numerous shortcomings. It has two basic interface choices, red or blue. There have been other interfaces for Politix but none successful. Industry observers keep hoping for an improved distribution although none has surfaced. Developers offered no comment.

Do you have any distributions that you could add to this list?

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fyezool
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peppermint-

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ampjuke
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Microsoftix - Consumes all available processing power and all other resources from the system it's installed on, eventually leading to an unexpected reboot. Frequently halts for no apparent reason, rendering all unsaved work useless.
Claims to follow industry standards. Especially in relation to the installed browser and office suite, - however, the truth is the only standard used is Microsoftix' own.
Note that the available software repository seems to be rather limited compared to other distros. And no: There's absolutely no way to add additional repositories.
Unlike other distros, Microsoftix haunts the user for a reboot immediately after almost every update, so the (theoretical) maximum uptime is a whooping 78%.
This distro's tagline is 'World domination', - we'll probably see a lot more of it in the future..

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RobertTackett
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Economix – There are several distros using this name, but the only ones that work as stated are based on the Austrian Misix distro. This lean little distro maximizes scarce resources and can quickly adapt to the ever changing desires of its user base. Warning: the developers of the Politix distro provide packages and kernel updates that they claim will make Economix an even leaner, faster and more efficient distribution. But these packages and updates will only make your system run slower and be less efficient. Do not install packages from Politix in Econimix as it will only bring about disaster. Leave Politix out of Economix and everyone will enjoy a higher standard of computing.

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Bob May
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Dilbertix - the tasks that are capable of executing properly are unable due to a supervisor that allocates resources poorly, expects valuable results while supplying erroneous data, and always reports success regardless of facts. Additionally the Wallyix task is a useless stub that returns nothing of value.

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khess
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I love them. Keep posting and watch for a follow-up with your distros in it.

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griswolf
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Goretix - Extremely boring, very good at energy management, sometimes drops a long running process.

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