I'll take one of those GMail invites, Amber, if you're still willing.

arent there programs that will keep track of all web sites someone goes to.... it would not be a filter but more of a "camera" big brother is watching????

would not that do the trick????

sorry I dont know of any programs, Ive just heard of them from friends that have teens...

i would not mind a gmail invite....

Very interesting topic. I just wanted to get some stuff down in writing about this real quick for the record...

Freaky fellas, if you can't:

a. Give up the naughty pictures for someone you really care about.
b. Find a freaky chick who's into it. (recommended)

...you don't belong in a relationship!

Ladies, if it really bothers you then go find a guy who's not like that. Remember: love is an amazing feeling but no matter how strongly you might feel about someone it's never going to be worth living a life of unhappiness.

Good luck Amber!

Peace and love to all.

There are keyloggers, but then again, if you're using one of these spy-type programs, you're invading his privacy. That, in my book is just as bad as him looking at porn on the sly.

I think that antioed's comments are very poignant-- I'd give you some rep points if hadn't done it recently already!

yeah but if he knows its there its not spying, no worse than net nanny or what have you I guess....

most companies monitor/or at least can monitor internet use, and phone calls etc. as long as you know they will or can watch, it should keep you out of trouble...

I never meant to sneak it on the computer... do it together!!!

Well, the way I look at it is this... More than likely, the significant other would be offended that you'd ever suggest this. The way it turns out sounding is like,

"Yes dear, I say I trust you, but I want to install this program because though I say I trust you, I don't trust you enough to not do this. "

...And that's never the way you'd want to go. Bottom line in my book-- don't try any sneaky stuff to catch him in the act. It's going to end up hurting more than neccesary, and the situations just going to become more inflamed. If you really don't want him doing this, the only way to have any change is for him to come to the intimate realisation that his actions are going to cause you to leave. If he is not ultimately aware of that, he'll have no reason to change his actions.

Amber, here is a "Dear Abby" article I think you should read:

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20040914

(Make sure the date showing is September 14, 2004) Hope it helps.

For those interested in gmail, there is a Sticky thread dedicated to it in the Geek's Forum.

Hey Amber,
i'm sure you've seen plenty already but i just wanted to add some things in for you.

your up againsed one hell of a problem and your gona have to realise that you cannot change a person, sure you may seam to for a year maybe two but after that the old personality will start to come through, and more to the point when it does he will feel resentful of how you made him change.

next up you have to realise that us boys are very sexualy motavated. its all genetic, boys are encoded to spread the seeds of life through as many parteners as they can find, girls are encoded to search out the one best mate, alpha male. its only our modern morol codes that keep us in monogamy.

next up if he is only looking at some standard naughty pics, nothing illegal or horibal, let him. it does not mean that he does not love you, as above us boys dont have such a strong link between love and sex as you girls. why do you think prostitution has been around for centuarys. for him its just a vent, and in the long run it'll probably keep him satisfyed and by your side rather than by someone else's side.

right, banning him or spying on him will only fuel his fire, so much more of a thrill to know you may get caught. and the thrill of getting away with it!

why dont you hit a compramise, tell him strate you can handel the normal porn, anything illegal, animal or <insert you own boundery here> and you'll leave him ( and by the way, if hes looking at boys, dont marry him! = )

right there you go hope it made sence, sorry about the spelling. and seriously dont de-rail your own train unless it heading for a worse disaster.

please take no offence if you dont aggree with me, i wish you all the luck in the world.

spikes

disclaimer: and words and pharses used in this post are purely the opion of the author, you do not have to belive or take heed of any advice given. you do not need to reply with any abuse or direction, just trying to be helpfull

I wish you good luck in life, spikes. I have a rather strong suspicion you need it more than Amber does

hey, i'm not that bad catweazle, just try to help out by providing some thourghts

spikes