I did a bit of Googling... maybe you can try this
Start>Run
rundll32 shell32.dll,Control_RunDLL hotplug.dll
That should bring up the dialog box that you get when you double click the "Safely Remove Icon" ... some people reported that their icon was back after running this once... try it out... even otherwise, until a permanent fix is found, maybe you can be using this...
Also, one more thing... the default property in windows has "Write Caching" disabled... this means that data is written onto the device as and when you perform an operation... there is no buffer etc that gets flushed when you safely remove it... so, if there is some LED and its NOT blinking, it is USUALLY safe to just disconnect the device... but like always, better safe than sorry :)