If I am not mistaken Netbeans uses internally Apache Ant's format for its build.xml for building (compiling etc) projects, So if you are familiar on how to use Apache Ant , you may even use notepad to modify your code or any other IDE (for ex Eclipse ) which allows you to import projects made with Ant.
As far as tar-ing your sources go, if you are on a Linux distro a simple man tar in a terminal will tell you how to create a tar archive, However if you are on Windows take a look here , But on windows I suggest you use Zip/Rar instead, cause I do not see any difference between the three(except for tar being a free software).
Check this tutorial on how to create an executable jar in Netbeans
stephen84s
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