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About 669 results for
lawyer
- Page 1
Re: FBI and Wikimedia Go a Few Rounds
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
13 Years Ago
by Biker920
Lawyer
Mark Godwin needs to go back to grammar school and … this being an unlawful action Wikimedia is wrong and the
lawyer
needs to stop twisting facts. Later---
Re: Word Association Game
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
19 Years Ago
by mikeandike22
lawyer
-->court anybody think this thread is getting ridiculous
Re: Word Association Game
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
17 Years Ago
by GreenDay2001
Lawyer
-> Court
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
14 Years Ago
by BestJewSinceJC
…don't think they are: "A doctor and a
lawyer
were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached…. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the
lawyer
and asked, "How do you handle the situation when… bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the
lawyer
. " /.... "An old man was on his death …
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by vegaseat
What's the difference between a good
lawyer
and a great
lawyer
? A good
lawyer
knows the law. A great
lawyer
knows the judge.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by vegaseat
… new client had just come in to see a famous
lawyer
. "Can you tell me how much you charge?"…;, said the client. "Of course", the
lawyer
replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"…'t it?" "Yes it is", said the
lawyer
, "And what's your third question?"
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
14 Years Ago
by ahihihi...
[B]You won't go to jail[/B] A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a
lawyer
seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his
lawyer
told him, "Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the
lawyer
was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sk8ndestroy14
Hope this doesn't offend anyone. I heard from a guy I met at an airport, of all places. Q: You're in a room with a
lawyer
, Osama Bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein and you have a gun with two bullets. What do you do? A: Shoot the
lawyer
twice.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
An engineer, a physicist and a
lawyer
were interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of … and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The
lawyer
was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by vegaseat
What's the difference between a
lawyer
and God? God doesn't think he's a
lawyer
.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
[QUOTE=Lardmeister;526558]Well, my dad is a very successful
lawyer
and has helped a lot of people in his life. … poorly paying job.[/QUOTE]Hey Lardmeister, the reason there are
lawyer
jokes is that the lawyers laugh at them the hardest…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
… night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the
lawyer
, "I have a proposition for you. You can win… souls of all your friends and law partners." The
lawyer
thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
15 Years Ago
by Zetlin
… at the back of the bar happenedd to be a
lawyer
. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered…. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The
lawyer
answered, "He said 'You don't have the nerve…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
15 Years Ago
by Ene Uran
A
lawyer
was driving his shiny new BMW down the highway, singing …! And my god, your left arm is gone!" The
lawyer
, horrified, screamed "My Gold Rolex! My Gold Rolex!"…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
14 Years Ago
by vegaseat
Q: "What happens when you cross a pig with a
lawyer
?" A: "Just another
lawyer
. There are some things even a pig won't do."
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
14 Years Ago
by chrishea
Even most lawyers like
lawyer
jokes so don't take any of these too personally. …. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a
lawyer
for my 'gator." _________________________ At a convention of biological…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
14 Years Ago
by BestJewSinceJC
…, “They aren’t all so bad. Why, last year a
lawyer
gave me $1000.” “I don’t believe it,” the host… had a complicated personal injury case and what with the
lawyer
’s fee, the cost of expert witnesses, the expense of…,000. When the judgment only amounted to $40,000, my
lawyer
simply forgave the difference.”
Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed "Here lies a good
lawyer
and an honest man." The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by EnderX
How many
Lawyer
Jokes are there in the world? Three. The rest are all true stories.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by MidiMagic
Satan filed suit against God. God said he could easily win. Then Satan said, "Oh, really? Where are you going to get a
lawyer
?"
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
[QUOTE=MidiMagic;501596]California has 2/3 of the lawyers in the US because New Jersey got to choose first. They chose toxic waste instead.[/QUOTE]Oh yeah California, where your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag, and your
lawyer
is Perry Mason on pot.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do, and a
lawyer
should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by Dave Sinkula
…-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The
lawyer
was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility.[quote]Q…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by MidiMagic
Where there's a will, there's a
lawyer
's bill.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by ZZucker
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense
lawyer
.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sneekula
A local
lawyer
defending a drunk driver couldn't show up in court because he had been arrested for drunk driving.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by EnderX
"Did you hear? Old man Smith's found a way to insure the
lawyer
's don't get any more of his money than his kids do." "How'd he do it?" "He left half his estate to one of the best lawyers around, provided the other half gets to his heirs intact."
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by sk8ndestroy14
… on to regional competition. I played the part of defense
lawyer
so I felt pretty good. If we win this we…
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by Lardmeister
[QUOTE=vmanes;524503]99% of lawyers make the the other 1% look bad.[/QUOTE]Well, my dad is a very successful
lawyer
and has helped a lot of people in his life. Something he and I are proud off. Looks like this thread is more about envy, by folks who have an unsuccessful and poorly paying job.
Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day
Community Center
Geeks' Lounge
16 Years Ago
by EnderX
No, it's about the stereotype of who/what a
lawyer
is. According to the stereotype, Lawyers: a) manage to get rich, but without any 'real' effort behind it. b) are, effectively, forced to be dishonest by their profession. c) are generally not seen as benefiting their fellow man in the same way that, say, a doctor does.
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