First, goto connectionstrings.com and look at the various connections strings.
Yes, I finally got a jdbc (java) connection string to work, and had to configure the java application as a trusted connection with mssql server.
Using java, you will also need to download the mssql jdbc drivers from microsoft and use them in the java connection string as the driver.
Are you using java or vb# ,c#.
You are attempting to connect to a remote server correct
cplmckenzie