Is it too late to change the design of the 'children' table? Your problem comes from there.
Why not have only two columns? One column would identify the user and the other the name of one child. Each user could have as many rows in the children table as needed to identify all that user's children. If you must enforce a maximum of four children per user you could do that in your program logic. But a one-many relation between the user table and the children table would give you more flexibility than your actual design, in my opinion.
d5e5
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