I need a forum script that is not PHP, ASP, or Pearl!
It's spelled Perl, not Pearl. What language WOULD you like it to be? Perhaps ColdFusion? What about ASP.NET (different than ASP). May I ask why it can't be in PHP or Perl? ColdFusion is actually much more expensive to deploy than the rest.
You can't have a forum without a back-end database. You can't interact with a database except with a server-side langauge. The most popular, supported server-side languages are PHP, ASP, and ASP.NET.
You're leaving yourself little or no options.