Republican Humor - Page 3

Question

GrimJack 1,414 Posting Maven

15 Years Ago

$ telnet barackobama.com 443
Trying 66.39.143.229...
Connected to barackobama.com.
Escape character is '^]'.
Connection closed by foreign host.
$ telnet johnmccain.com 443
Trying 64.203.107.149...
Connected to johnmccain.com.
Escape character is '^]'.
Connection closed by a real American.

I did not think I would have to explain this to anyone on this board but since someone actually dinged my (good?) reputation with this note

I just did my research on the server and it shows that it is located in arizona how is that foriegn?

Now, if that had been posted here I would have thought it a brilliant piece of Republican satire or if he had given me even a neutral but I don't think he understood the joke. Heck, I still hold out the hope that this is actually double, inverted poke at me - we shall see.

Please tell me that most Republicans actually got the joke?

tiger86 commented: UGH! I am sorry NOW I GET IT! I am slow with jokes!! +1

vmanes 1,165 Posting Virtuoso

15 Years Ago

On television today a Democratic operative pointed out that when Obama holds a rally 25-30,000 people show up, whereas when McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.

The Republican spokesman replied, That's because McCain's supporters are at work.

Dave Sinkula commented: :icon_lol: +17

Dave Sinkula 2,398 long time no c

15 Years Ago

So what are the 10-15,000 that showed up? Too rich to go to work?

Possibly. The folks in this picture stink of excess cash.

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso

15 Years Ago

When I worked for McCaw Cellular - Craig McCaw made the highest paid exec. in the US. I kept calling my supervisor every hour to tell him, "Craig just made another $71,000, what are you doing with your life?". I did not keep that job much longer.

If you would be a true Republican, $71,000/hour wouldn't sound so much to you!

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GrimJack 1,414 Posting Maven Featured Poster · Answer 1 · 2008-09-12T01:31:46+00:00

More people get killed annually by donkeys than elephants. Now that is Republican humor at its finest!

Yeah, but cleaning up after donkeys is always easier than cleaning up after elephants.

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 2 · 2008-09-13T21:47:33+00:00

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven

15 Years Ago

Truth is a stranger.

tiger86 16 Posting Pro · Answer 3 · 2008-09-15T12:55:50+00:00

When Clinton was told he was impeached he didn't leave cause he was waiting for the Imp with a peach. My dog is smarter than both clintons put together.

tiger86 16 Posting Pro · Answer 4 · 2008-09-16T12:07:55+00:00

Truth is a stranger.

When a politician actually tells the truth the universe will collapse.

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 5 · 2008-09-16T22:55:09+00:00

Move over, Al Gore. You may lay claim to the Internet, but John McCain helped create the BlackBerry.

At least that's the contention of a top McCain policy adviser, Douglas Holtz-Eakin.

Spectacular feat! McCain himself has acknowledged that he doesn't know how to use a computer and can't send e-mail, one of the BlackBerry's prime functions.

tiger86 16 Posting Pro · Answer 6 · 2008-09-17T12:01:43+00:00

If Al Gore invented the internet Mary Shelley was actually Frankenstien. Tim Berners-Lee created HTML though he was not the first one to have the idea of the internet; back in the 1960s another dude had very similar ideas to Tim Berners-Lee.

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 7 · 2008-09-17T19:16:43+00:00

When Clinton was told he was impeached he didn't leave cause he was waiting for the Imp with a peach. My dog is smarter than both clintons put together.

So you have a very smart dog, but the Clintons are old stuff. The question I have, is your dog smarter than McCain and Palin combined?

ZZucker 342 Practically a Master Poster · Answer 8 · 2008-09-20T23:29:46+00:00

Well, not really humor but stupefying sadness and joy:
"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor -- the president -- governor -- president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him--get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq - and at that same - right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States - a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen."
(George W. Bush Washington, DC 1/09/2004)

GrimJack 1,414 Posting Maven Featured Poster · Answer 9 · 2008-09-24T05:51:28+00:00

Go here for a look at the new Palin action doll <warning tomorrow's may be different>.

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 10 · 2008-09-25T05:33:47+00:00

Well, you know, I think the American people are sacrificing now. I think they're waiting in airport lines longer than they've ever had before.
(UU)

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 11 · 2008-09-28T01:30:02+00:00

I'm going to spend a lot of time on Social Security. I enjoy it. I enjoy taking on the issue. I guess, it's the Mother in me.
(George W. Bush Washington, DC 4/14/2005)

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 12 · 2008-09-29T02:50:13+00:00

On television today a Democratic operative pointed out that when Obama holds a rally 25-30,000 people show up, whereas when McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.
The Republican spokesman replied, That's because McCain's supporters are at work.

So what are the 10-15,000 that showed up? Too rich to go to work?

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 13 · 2008-09-29T03:13:24+00:00

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso

15 Years Ago

Very funny!

Ene Uran 638 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 14 · 2008-09-30T01:29:39+00:00

George W. Bush, Fort Sam Houston, TX 1/1/2006:
"There is an enemy out there. They read newspapers."

Just a few more weeks and he will exit the stage. He has brought so many fresh ideas to the English language and to the rules of the land. I will miss him dearly. Kissy, kissy George!

vmanes 1,165 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 15 · 2008-09-30T01:57:12+00:00

So what are the 10-15,000 that showed up? Too rich to go to work?

They work night shift?

Ene Uran 638 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 16 · 2008-09-30T23:14:13+00:00

Danny Funderbunk, the ultra brave mayor of Fort Mill, South Carolina, has been very busy forwarding everybody emails about whether that colored fellow Barack Obama is perhaps some creature sent by the Devil to have a mythological war with Jesus, you know, perhaps he may just be the Anti-Christ!

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 17 · 2008-10-01T21:11:04+00:00

Danny Funderbunk, the ultra brave mayor of Fort Mill, South Carolina, has been very busy forwarding everybody emails about whether that colored fellow Barack Obama is perhaps some creature sent by the Devil to have a mythological war with Jesus, you know, perhaps he may just be the Anti-Christ!

I have seen the Anti-Christ, and he looks more like one of those many greedy investment bankers that lives in his huge private estate in Connecticut.

Ene Uran 638 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 18 · 2008-10-04T06:10:28+00:00

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

GrimJack 1,414 Posting Maven Featured Poster · Answer 19 · 2008-10-04T12:36:12+00:00

When I worked for McCaw Cellular - Craig McCaw made the highest paid exec. in the US. I kept calling my supervisor every hour to tell him, "Craig just made another $71,000, what are you doing with your life?". I did not keep that job much longer.

tiger86 16 Posting Pro · Answer 20 · 2008-10-04T15:56:56+00:00

When I worked for McCaw Cellular - Craig McCaw made the highest paid exec. in the US. I kept calling my supervisor every hour to tell him, "Craig just made another $71,000, what are you doing with your life?". I did not keep that job much longer.

As GrimJack shows above all democrats do is complain about how others are doing better then democrats so they try to get a law passed so others don't do as well so the jackass party feels better.

Have you ever noticed the word rat in democrat??

Have you ever noticed that some words share letter sequences with other words that are unrelated? Brilliant!!

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 21 · 2008-10-04T20:56:43+00:00

From our cowboy President:
"There's a lot of blowhards in the political process, you know, a lot of hot-air artists, people who have got something fancy to say."

Good down-to-earth humour, but also very true!

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 22 · 2008-10-07T00:41:47+00:00

George W. Bush declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien in 2001:
"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 23 · 2008-10-08T21:28:46+00:00

President George W. Bush after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like:
"It is white."

HiHe 174 Junior Poster · Answer 24 · 2008-10-10T23:09:06+00:00

A number of AIG executives went to a California spa on a junket just days after AIG was bailed out with 85,000,000,000 Dollars of taxpayer's money. They were celebrating the bailout and rang up a close to 500,000 Dollar spa bill.

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 25 · 2008-10-11T22:45:21+00:00

Nice humor from a guy we all admire:
"
See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office -- I love to bring people into the Oval Office -- right around the corner from here -- and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person.
"

In the last debate I couldn't help but notice how much John McCain looks like Dick Cheney. However, Cheney has a much nicer smile.

sneekula 969 Nearly a Posting Maven · Answer 26 · 2008-10-13T20:22:44+00:00

Bush Language:
"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house."