4

I was going through some of my old emails and came across this. I thought i'd share since there are some really good one here:

Things to think about

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for an eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Does the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Votes + Comments
Awesome x]!
Good laugh for the day :)
21
Contributors
28
Replies
54
Views
9 Years
Discussion Span
Last Post by stultuske
Featured Replies
  • Do you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea... does … Read More

  • In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"? If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'? If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress? Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts? If … Read More

  • 2

    Coffee is a person who has been coughed upon. The winner of the rat race is still a rat. Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around. Nebraska: At least the cows are sane. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Stable relationships are for horses. Read More

  • 2
    ddanbe 2,690   6 Years Ago

    Why does canned cat food never comes in mouse flavor? Read More

0

I was going through some of my old emails and came across this. I thought i'd share since there are some really good one here:

Things to think about

Can you cry under water?

Yes, just because tears are washed away does not negate the crying - if you are at depth, I would guess that yes, tears will still come because your eyes are at equalized pressures - but I will leave it open to divers to answer.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Assassination is the targeted killing of a high-profile person. An added distinction between assassination and other forms of killing is that the assassin (one who performs an assassination) usually has an ideological or political motivation, though many assassins (especially those not part of an organization) also demonstrate insanity. Other motivations may be money (contract killing), revenge, or a military operation.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

that is the buyer/seller dichotomy - I offer a penny for your thoughts but I throw my 2 cents in because I want 2 cents for mine.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for an eternity?

Nope, you are forced into white robes, wings, and a halo (harp optional).

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Pizzas are made by stretching the dough by spinning the dough in the air - you can't spin something into a square but when you are cutting out cardboard, the least wasteful way to cut it is square and there is not easy way to do a round box.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

life.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Guys did all the traveling - in the mid-80s when women starting getting up to management positions, the wheels on the luggage leveled the playing field.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Does the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

0

LOL, good answers. I was wondering if anyone would actually answer these, and i kind of had a feeling grim would put his two cents in. Well i guess that means i owe you a penny......nah yours id worth two cents.

0

I wasn't going to, but then I got bored so I did. These are the ones Grim got bored of answering.

...

>> Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Babies can sleep anywhere; in cars, on people, during weddings, with no problem

>> If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Of course it is. What kind of stupid conjecture is that? It's a hearing of the state's case against a party.

>> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Movies aren't physical. Televisions are. As to why that would lead to a difference in grammar... I don't know, but that's the only difference I could see.

>> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Cause people have too much money. Also it's more efficient - you can see far more from a higher distance so you don't have to move as far.

>> Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Just cause they see you in the nip they don't have to see you bend over during the process.

>> Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
English is a weird language.

>> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Ever make waffles in the toaster? I do. They need a couple of turns on the highest if you heat 'em from frozen.

>> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Don't know the song...

>> Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes. It fulfills the obligations.

>> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Haven't watched.

>> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Correction, they're both cartoon dogs.

>>If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
How else did they make so many episodes?

>> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Sigh.

>> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Sigh.

>> Does the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
Yes. It's a common tune's song that's found in many other children's song.

>> Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't. It's common knowledge.

>> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Sigh. If anyone in the world has an asteroid in their butt... God help them!

>> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
My dog used to like both...


>> A very interesting thread
No... interesting would bring knowledge into someone's day, something you didn't know. Not silly 'penny for your thought' sentences.

1

Do you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea... does that mean that one in five enjoys it?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

0

>Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
Not really.

>Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
Nope, croutons are not stale, they are just rebaked bread.

>If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
I doubt it :P

>If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
We are here to live, but life's more pleasant if people help eachother.

1

In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?
Who was Sadie Hawkins?

2

Coffee is a person who has been coughed upon.

The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Nebraska: At least the cows are sane.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Stable relationships are for horses.

0

>Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
You can be on tv in a movie on tv - you can be in a movie on tv in a movie - etc.

It is possible to have a complex complex complex.
(didn't I say that on the other side?)

0

vegaseat ask Why do some people think that they have to answer every question?


Pure unrestrained EGO coupled with lots of Duh.Later---

-2

Why do people ask really stupid questions for no reason???!!!!:confused::yawn::icon_mrgreen:

Votes + Comments
Good question! Why have you?
0

1. If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not
joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go?

2. What is the speed of darkness?

3. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged
during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that
stuff?

4. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

5. Do fish ever get thirsty?

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

0

Why are most swear words 4 letters but compliments are much longer?

Do toads ever sit on toadstools?

Why is a red onion red but a green onion is white?

Is it still Re-search if you make a new discovery?

If a dog is man's best friend why is it and insult to call a man a dog?

0

as Forrest Gump didn't say
"stupid is as stupid answers"
"Life is a venereal disease, you never know what you're gonna get"

0

who was the person who invented he could drink the milk of a cow after milking, and what exactly did he think he was doing at that time?

This question has already been answered. Start a new discussion instead.
Have something to contribute to this discussion? Please be thoughtful, detailed and courteous, and be sure to adhere to our posting rules.