Picked from newspaper classifieds:

'83 Toyota hunchback -- $2000

Just in time for deer season:
2 wire mesh butchering gloves, one 5-finger, one 3-finger, pair only $15

Bill's septic cleaning "We haul American made products"

Our sofa seats the whole mob and is made of 100% Italian leather.

Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer, asking $300.

Christmas Sale of Methodist Women at West-Side Church.

FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. Asking $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

...struggling to keep a straight face after reading all those; priceless. :-)

Lol they are good ones

Farm fresh eggs for sale, right from the chicken's behind!

Lose all your weight, only $49.

Parachute — never opened. Used once. $875

Four-poster bed, 101 years old, perfect for antique lover.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

Our bikinis are simply the tops.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Thanks for making me laugh!