Up to now i kept saying i love Narue and such. But to be honest i had no idea of what she looked like. Tonight i saw her for the first time(her photo). Of course i wasnt in love with her, i just like the idea of having a girl friend who is smart and a programmer and good at algorithms. I had never seen an ambitious female programmer.
Tonight i was shocked by her photo, she was not only that smart person, but also beautiful. Actually i am a person who is easily impressed by intelligence, so i didnt care up to now saying that i love her because i could have tolerated ugliness when intelligence is present. But this is like a dream, she is blonde, blue eyed... we mediteriannen people are usually dark in color like me. And we are easily attracted by these blondes. But since blondes are usually stupid, this was the second shock.
Now if i say i love Narue or i fell in love with her, it may be counted as true but i dont have the confidence to reach such a person. I mean, if i knew her face to face in real life, i wouldnt feel confident enough to express my feelings to her. But anyway, knowing such people motivates me to tie into life. Such platonik love is also works for me, there will always be that blonde Narue, who i will never have as mine, which means like an infinite love.
Thanks for listening to my feelings..