i wanna share some feelings about yesterday. you guys know i am new to USA, and since i came here i didnt find much opportunity to go out and hangout with people. Actually i would like to share what i feel in detail but i know this thread will be closed as well as critisized and may even be deleted. So, i dont want to write so much stuff for none. Anyway i will try to keep it short and sweet. Yesterday my friend called me to do something(i have only one friend over here, so i call him my friend). And we went to Clearwater beach, which is very beautiful. it was evening, i wish i was there before sunset. the beach culture here is good, people are doing various stuff, there are not only having sun or swimming, there are lots of attraction, but after the sunset, all there is remaining is some street showers and some families with their children wandering around...
Since i was born i have lived so close to sea(mediterianen), and i was really impressed by the smell of the ocean after so long. It brought me reminiscence of many good feelings. And of course also the voice of the waves with the wind.... I just wanted to sit there having a beer listening to that sound and stay still for hours. That kind of ambience triggers my emotions to love someone deeply, and i am not sex oriented unlike USA people(i refer to many of them not all). I told my friend that, if i had a girl friend there, i would like to sit with her just hugging her all night long. The problem is in this area i dont think there are enough depth thinkers or educated people. this is just a touristic place, what can i expect? i was a little bothered thinking how improbable it is to find someone i have in mind. To escape that feeling i told my friend to go YBOR city. this is a place with fool of night clubs and bars. In this place of course there were lots of sexy girls.. but then again what i was going to do with them? i dont even know how to speak casual english. i dont know how to entertain an american lady. i dont know what do they laugh. all i can do is sex and under that circumtances it seemed impossible(we gave it a try to meet two girls with innocent intentions though and were rejected expectedly).
To be honest i dont feel good when i see those american girls there, i always feel like they are after my money. Or like their world revolves around money. And i am not that rich and besides as i mentioned i dont have anything else useful for them. Anyway it wasnt fun for me. i just wanted to go to some rock bar to listen to some electric metal sound but my friend didnt like that idea. then i said, lets try nude club again. so this time we went to another one which is just across the other one that i mentioned last week. i spoke to guys in front of that club and they said that club was the best, it even appeared on TV. anyway we got in. this time i wasnt impressed as i was last time. i think even after the first one you get used to it. it didnt excite me. i started to think the amount of money that these nude girls make. i really wondered the amount of money they make. i heard that they make a lot. I thought about their future, what were they doing with that much of money. they are beautiful, healty, young. didnt they think about their future? didnt they think about getting married one day? if they want to get married, would someone marry them knowing that they used to have seks with many guys over a night? i thought about being a girl like that, if i was that cute, if i was able to make incomparable money to what i am making now, would i do that? instead of coding and pulling my hair off, would i do that easy thing? believe me i couldnt say no. i just left the answer blank. that is why i was really surprised to see a c++ geek who is blonde and cute( i am not allowed to give her name, you know her anyways). I want to be in a place where the number of those cute and depth thinkers is big. The only thing i cant think of leaving is the semi-tropikal climate of florida. damn it, it is just so nice. but it may worth holding hands with that intelligent girl somewhere in north. this is not a case for florida only, every south portion of any country is like that, full of lazy people who earn their lives on some easy to do stuff(usually touristic places).
look guys, i am honest and sincere with you, i dont care exposing my real thoughts because i always feel life is too short to lie. i mean lies just make the communication paths longer. but life is real short, especially mine. i dont think i spoil anything by expressing my feelings or thoughts. i also do care ethical status of our world and societies. please if you read my threads, dont read them with attitude or prejudgement. the escense of why i write here is sharing, decreasing the feeling of loneliness in me. that is it, nothing more nothing less..