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Put your favorite quotes here.

My favorite is:

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

— Mark Twain

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Last Post by carolraydon
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My favorite has to be:

"Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'."

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"Yo momma so ugly you could roll her face in dough and make gorilla cookies."

-Ah that works on so many different levels. But mainly at my level. Which is about as low as it gets. :cheesy:

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Women & cats will do as they please,
and men & dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
----Robert A. Heinlein

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"If I give you a pfennig, you will be one pfennig richer and I'll be one pfennig poorer. But if I give you an idea, you will have a new idea, but I shall still have it, too."

— Albert Einstein

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This was my usenet signature for a long time :)

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

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Remember the three R's:
Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

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"Only two things in universe are infinite. The space and the human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the space"

Albert Einstein

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I was signing records at HMV in australia and i accidently stated that i hate emo...someone said i discriminated so i turned around and said

"I dont discriminate...i hate everyone equally :)"

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Everithing is shitting except pissing. And pissing is shitting too if you are pissing into the wind.

Mao Ze Dong.

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Mine was already taken, so here are a couple of loftovers.

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
Babe Ruth

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Lyndon B. Johnson

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
L. Mencken

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo theory" to his buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Not that there is any theme here.

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Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

- US President George W. Bush (August 5, 2004)

"I think it's very important for the American President to mean what he says. That's why I understand that the enemy could misread what I say. That's why I try to be as clearly I can."

—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004

ssh

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum....and I'm all out of bubble gum

Duke Nuk'em (you forgot)

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Content-Type: Inappropriate

"Woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom"
-=Confucius=-

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Confucius say: Man who stands on toilet is high on pot

And another:

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back! -Grandpa Munster

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If one person says that you are you a pig, that's because he hates you.
If two persons say that you are a pig, that's because they made a pact against you.
If three persons say that you are a pig, than beter start oinking.

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Live life as if you are going to die tommorrow and learn as if you are going to live forever.

It is better to burn out than to fade away- Kurt Cobain

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If all you have is an AK-47, everything looks like an enemy combatant.

Ooh, good quote - I may steal it for use on usenet, heh,heh - more current than the hammer one.

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My 2 favorite quotes are:

Better to snuff one candle than curse the light <I made this one up when MUDding a decade or so ago>

Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice. <I used to know who came up with this on A.F.U. but over the years, i lost his name - if you have never tried UseNet check out rec.humor.funny.d and Alt.foklore.urban>

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