I'm sitting in classroom, trying to find more advanced usage of pointers in C++, suddenly Googling, not suspecting a thing I almost fell of the chair in middle of class laughing like a donkey (I'm young adult, so "immature" jokes tend to be funnier for me than for you likely). It goes as follows:
.
.
.
.
.

C++

A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C++ makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong.

It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C++ as any other major language (except C).

The men who program in C++ are Real Men. The women who program in C++ are Real Men too. You can spot a C++ programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all.
.
.
.
.
.
So to see, there is a lot of this copied over internet. So this is 2 billionth place this is on. If you've seen it, don't hate, maybe other people haven't and it seemed funny to me, so maybe others will have fun too.

You forgot about the other side of this coin:

Java
A programming language for Toddlers. Real languages try to provide the power necessary to solve the most complex problems well. Java makes no such attempt and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program exactly as your computer science teacher, who has no real world experience, taught you, and nothing else. It lets you write object oriented code, and only that, even where it makes no sense at all. It decides everything for you and provides no escape if it gets it wrong.

It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run safely... until it crashes your system on the memory leaks it accumulated. It takes at least twice as long to run anything written in Java as any other major production language (C / C++).

The children who program in Java are Toddlers. The women who program in Java are Toddlers too. You can spot a Java programmer from their primitive vocabulary, and the uncontrollable nervous breakdown they get when those three characters are spoken: "C++". They'll probably run to online forums to seek the false comfort of confirmation bias, like the false comfort of a garbage collector, or the false comfort of sucking on ones thumb.

commented: *shots fired* +0