Married or not - Page 3

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Ezzaral 2,714 Posting Sage Team Colleague Featured Poster · Answer 1 · 2007-08-29T00:49:03+00:00

I don't really think living together is such a good idea. I mean unless you're gonna act like roommates where... this stuff is mine and that stuff is yours. Financially, I think it gets messy... especially if or when you break up.

If you are considering marriage to the person, you are facing all of that anyway. Ownership of this or that matters little if everything is shared in an amenable fashion. It is only things like large joint purchases that present a problem and really should be avoided or handled very carefully.

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 2 · 2007-08-29T00:49:07+00:00

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso

16 Years Ago

why being like roomates, and not acting like a couple?

christina>you 820 Posting Sage Featured Poster · Answer 3 · 2007-08-29T00:53:26+00:00

Because of the financial issues. Many "ex-couples" go to court because they supposedly paid for something that they didn't get back. And just little things like that.

christina>you 820 Posting Sage Featured Poster · Answer 4 · 2007-08-29T00:54:33+00:00

If you are considering marriage to the person, you are facing all of that anyway. Ownership of this or that matters little if everything is shared in an amenable fashion. It is only things like large joint purchases that present a problem and really should be avoided or handled very carefully.

Well not exactly because as a married couple, you usually buy big things together, right?

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 5 · 2007-08-29T00:57:28+00:00

that's a risk you have to take if you really want to give it try...

Ezzaral 2,714 Posting Sage Team Colleague Featured Poster · Answer 6 · 2007-08-29T01:00:29+00:00

Well not exactly because as a married couple, you usually buy big things together, right?

Yes, things such as house, furniture, car, etc. It would be best to avoid purchases like that while merely living together prior to marriage. If you cannot share other lesser purchases and financial responsibilities while living together, you should just forget about marriage altogether.

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 7 · 2007-08-29T01:10:42+00:00

i guess it would be better live together in a rented apartment, and have two cars, (one that belonged to each other previously), and stuff...

Ezzaral 2,714 Posting Sage Team Colleague Featured Poster · Answer 8 · 2007-08-29T01:19:12+00:00

i guess it would be better live together in a rented apartment, and have two cars, (one that belonged to each other previously), and stuff...

It's certainly a lot easier that way if you want to avoid potential issues like the court cases that Christina alluded to. Living together you can at least get a feel for whether you are going to be able to stand each other for the rest of your lives =)

It takes a lot of patience for sure - and the realization that you aren't so perfect yourself, so keep it in mind when you expect perfection from your spouse!

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 9 · 2007-08-29T01:23:07+00:00

i'm conscious that i'm not gonna find perfection in her... i just like to think she is... at least she's perfect for me... that's all i need... lol

though if you're really gonna get through it, you'll find a way to stand each other...

christina>you 820 Posting Sage Featured Poster · Answer 10 · 2007-08-29T01:23:42+00:00

Yes, things such as house, furniture, car, etc. It would be best to avoid purchases like that while merely living together prior to marriage. If you cannot share other lesser purchases and financial responsibilities while living together, you should just forget about marriage altogether.

Right.

Infarction 503 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 11 · 2007-08-29T07:26:03+00:00

i guess it would be better live together in a rented apartment, and have two cars, (one that belonged to each other previously), and stuff...

Or get the stuff on your own and put it in a pre-nup. I've got a timeline for buying myself a house, and it's completely unrelated to any relationships I [currently don't] have. But it'll be my house until I have a damn good reason to agree otherwise.

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 12 · 2007-08-29T10:10:30+00:00

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso

16 Years Ago

lol... that surely works too...

hollystyles 113 Veteran Poster · Answer 13 · 2007-08-29T22:19:32+00:00

I got married. Here's what I've learnt:

Whats hers is hers and what was yours is now hers too.

If you have children, forever after the pains of labour will be used to win any disagreement she can't win with rational argument.

Uninterrupted time longer than 5 minutes suddenly becomes as rare as rockinghorse poo.

The house is filled to the gunnels with animals (We're teaching our kids responsibility apparently. To be zookeepers more like!)

The call of nature takes twice as long as you have to return the seat to it's original position, and you have to start actually using the toilet brush, otherwise it's your toothbrush that will get used in your absence.

You are no longer able to lay your hand on anything, as nothing remains where you left it anymore.

You can't watch anything interesting on TV before 11pm (After she's asleep.)

.
.
.

I'm sure there's more.

christina>you 820 Posting Sage Featured Poster · Answer 14 · 2007-08-30T00:25:33+00:00

christina>you 820 Posting Sage

16 Years Ago

Lol... that's hilarious.

plusplus 0 Posting Whiz in Training · Answer 15 · 2007-08-30T01:57:07+00:00

Marriage is not about finding the right person but being the right person
(Can't remember where this is from)

vegaseat 1,735 DaniWeb's Hypocrite Team Colleague · Answer 16 · 2007-08-30T03:46:25+00:00

hollystyles, your sense of humor will make you survive this ordeal! Great observations!

twomers 408 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 17 · 2007-09-02T19:56:51+00:00

I once purposed to a lady friend and she said no ... broke me heart ... I still think about her. Sure we were like 7 but ... that's not the point.

hbk619 228 Master Poster · Answer 18 · 2007-09-02T22:12:31+00:00

>I once purposed to a lady friend and she said no ... broke me heart ... I still think about her. Sure we were like 7 but ... that's not the point.

Haha bless ya :)

A friend propsed to his gf, she said "F*** off peter I'm watching Desperate Housewives". Seriously. Poor bloke.

Dave Sinkula 2,398 long time no c Team Colleague · Answer 19 · 2007-09-02T22:17:27+00:00

A friend propsed to his gf, she said "F*** off peter I'm watching Desperate Housewives". Seriously. Poor bloke.

Heh. Kinda reminds me of my proposal -- although it worked much more in my favor.

Lardmeister 461 Posting Virtuoso · Answer 20 · 2007-09-02T22:26:02+00:00

Very funny Dave, the Force must have been on your side then!

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 21 · 2007-09-03T03:15:17+00:00

i can't imagine how destroyed must the guy have been after being changed by a Desperate Housewives episode...

Dave Sinkula 2,398 long time no c Team Colleague · Answer 22 · 2007-09-03T03:20:39+00:00

My wife's response as I was popping the question: "Where's the remote? Push play." More of a time sequence of events thing, though.

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso Featured Poster · Answer 23 · 2007-09-03T06:32:05+00:00

ndeniche 402 Posting Virtuoso

16 Years Ago

haha... i hope that doesn't happen to me...

andrew Collings -6 Light Poster · Answer 24 · 2010-12-07T20:54:28+00:00

I think everyone needs to marry after being eligible for getting married. Marriage may be everything for a person. because of this, man can do his task very easily and can keep his mind fresh from any bad things. If you become a noble person, you marry anyone quickly.

Ancient Dragon 5,243 Achieved Level 70 Team Colleague Featured Poster · Answer 25 · 2010-12-08T01:33:59+00:00

I think everyone needs to marry after being eligible for getting married. Marriage may be everything for a person. because of this, man can do his task very easily and can keep his mind fresh from any bad things. If you become a noble person, you marry anyone quickly.

Advice like that is one reason there are so many divorces. Its a proven fact that people who get married younger than 21 are more likely to get divorced than those who get married at older ages. Get married for love, not for lust.

MosaicFuneral 812 Nearly a Posting Virtuoso · Answer 26 · 2010-12-08T05:08:11+00:00

I think everyone needs to marry after being eligible for getting married. Marriage may be everything for a person. because of this, man can do his task very easily and can keep his mind fresh from any bad things. If you become a noble person, you marry anyone quickly.

The keyword there is 'may be'. I've been 'eligible'(legally) since 17, but I've for one never even had a long term relationship, nor would currently care for one. To make it financially work, we'd both have to work full-time to pay rent, utilities, and save up for things like a car or a house; there'd be no time to even be with eachother, till I've either gotten the schooling requirements for a higher paying job or X-years of experience in a trade.
I also refuse anything more than platonic love, because I really am really not ready for any responsibilities that a sexual relationship brings. Any relatives and friends whom've had children(accidental or not) at my age or younger have just wound-up divorced(if they did go shotgun) and creating broken families. That's something I don't want to do to a young child.
In perhaps a few years from now, things may be completely different, but just being legally eligible doesn't make for good grounds to have any relationship.

GrimJack 1,414 Posting Maven Featured Poster · Answer 27 · 2010-12-08T09:27:17+00:00

I asked my partner to marry me traveling 80 mph on I5 at 3:00am - she accepted, that was 1991. We actually got our signatures on a marriage application in 2006 just before we flew to Paris. Hey, we will get around to it pretty soon now.

dvdreplication 0 Light Poster Banned · Answer 28 · 2010-12-08T11:09:43+00:00

dvdreplication 0 Light Poster

13 Years Ago

I am not married yet but i am going to be married soon. :D

peter_budo commented: Get a life and stop spamming your signature +0

Borzoi 24 Posting Whiz · Answer 29 · 2010-12-09T19:32:59+00:00

I agree with Ancient Dragon. Getting married based solely on your attraction to that person rarely ever works. Finding the person you truly want to spend the rest of your life with will happen at different times for everyone. For example, my parents got married when my father was 18 and my mother was 19 and they're still together today. On the other hand, my uncle only married two years ago, when he was 42. Quite a considerable difference there.

As it was mentioned before, too many people nowadays marry based on what they probably think is love when it's just infatuation.

I'm not actively seeking a relationship at the moment but I'm not "closed off" so to speak. If something happens, it happens. When I'm looking for a relationship, I want it to be with someone I can get along with really well and enjoy the company of rather than someone I just find attractive.