We need to laugh... - Page 2

[christina>you]

Haha

[arjunsasidharan]

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India..

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave! -letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've t o go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..." :D

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well." :D

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to you r advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! ) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Hope you guys liked it :)

And for the indians out here. Don't feel bad ..it just to make people laugh. I know indians rock!! :)

[burningman]

nice thats a large collection

[sk8ndestroy14]

I like the job application one.

[burningman]

Try this one

Now at 5pm news we bring you an important news broadcast. A two seater plane has recently landed in a ceme tary. Luxury pilot Jim and his son David, who was riding copilot, are okay. The police have uncovered the other 500 bodies and the numbers may rise as police and Jim continue to dig.

What do you call a dear with no legs and no eyes?

Still no-eye-deer (idea).

[burningman]

already told

[linux]

Here's one I read as the headline in a paper somewhere:

17 remain dead in morgue shooting.

Ugly Bus
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

[burningman]

nice i heard that somewhere but its still good

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asks the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replies.

The man continues, "Do you know what these are used for?"

"Not exactly," the boy says. "But they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now he can't do either one."

[burningman]

lol

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."
"OH DEAR GOD NO," Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks up and asks, "How many is a Brazillion??!"

This was stolen i know but its still from lol.com

A ha ha.

[sk8ndestroy14]

This thread is great.

[arjunsasidharan]

Good one burning man!!..

Click_me

[linux]

Haha, nice video.

[christina>you]

;)

[joshSCH]

haha.. I like how it looks all sad at the end..

[burningman]

this whole thread is sad and im sad for posting in it. I also find it quite funny

[christina>you]

I find Chuck Norris jokes to be hilarious. Maybe we should start posting them in this thread. ;)

[sk8ndestroy14]

Chuck Norris was bitten by a poisonous snake. After eight days of pain and agony, the snake died.

[burningman]

haha that was good

[sk8ndestroy14]

Chuck Norris' tears can quench world thirst, end world hunger, establish world peace, and stop globing warming......Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

[christina>you]

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

[christina>you]

Or this one... lol

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

[EnderX]

Not true. Look at it this way: The reactive force of the kick can be measured by the distance flown and size of crater gouged by the object receiving the kick.

[jamello]

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India..

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave! -letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've t o go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..." :D

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well." :D

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to you r advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! ) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Hope you guys liked it :)

And for the indians out here. Don't feel bad ..it just to make people laugh. I know indians rock!! :)

It is really really funny.!:icon_cheesygrin:

Are you indian?:?: I believe most indians have pretty large sense of humor. I used to enjoy years ago, the indian and pakistani actors in a british comedy serial "MIND YOUR LANGUAGE". They were my favorites (RAMJEET AND ALLI NADIM). God loves indians alot, that is why HE made them so plenty!:)

[joshSCH]

hmm.. okay..

[jbennet]

What was that indian sketch show called that was popular on the BBC in the late 90s / early 2000s? that was really good. I like indian humour