We need to laugh... - Page 3

[sk8ndestroy14]

I thought it was interesting that one third of the population is either Indian or Chinese.

[Aia]

I thought it was interesting that one third of the population is either Indian or Chinese.

What's the "other" two third?.

[burningman]

every other country

RANDOM FACT: my buddy told me this one. more people speak english in china than america

[joshSCH]

FACT: There are more people in China than America. Many people try to learn the English language b/c it is so profitable... We need translators for the rich, lazy ass Americans when they visit other countries ;)

To better globalize the world, we should create one standard language and one standard religion. (English, and I suppose Christianity can stay if atheism can too, since it is lack of religion :))

[jbennet]

We tried to make a standardised langauge before. It failed. It was called esperanto i believe

[EnderX]

Yeah, I'm fairly sure that was it. I still find some old jokes along those lines.

"I hear your daughter is off at college."
"Yep, she's learning a bunch of languages this semester."
"Which ones?"
"Hmm...I think it's French, German, and Esperanto."
"Your daughter's learning Esperanto?"
"Yep, and she's doing well. She can already speak it like a native."

[joshSCH]

haha..

really? I've never heard of Esperanto be4... who attempted to use it?

[jbennet]

it was meant to be a language for the EU annd for foreigners to communicate i think

[twomers]

I think it was inspired by LOTR :) As in common tongue. Interesting idea. Kinda makes sense to have one though.

[jbennet]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esperanto

• Hello: Saluton
• What is your name?:

Kiel vi nomiĝas?

• My name is ... :

Mi nomiĝas

• How much?: Kiom?
• Here you are: Jen
• Do you speak Esperanto?: Ĉu vi parolas Esperanton?
• I don't understand you: Mi ne komprenas vin
• Thank you: Dankon
• You're welcome: Ne dankinde
• Please: Bonvolu
• Here's to your health: Je via sano
• Bless you!/Gesundheit!:
• Okay:

BoneĜuste

• It is a nice day: Estas bela tago
• I would like a [one] beer, please: Unu bieron, mi petas.
• What is that?: Kio estas tio?
• That is ... : Tio estas...
• How are you?: Kiel vi fartas? or Kiel vi? (Less formal)
• Good morning!: Bonan matenon!
• Good evening!: Bonan vesperon!
• Good night!: Bonan nokton!

[joshSCH]

I can see the mix of spanish and french?

[twomers]

I prefer this:

• Hello: Hi
• What is your name?:What's your name?

• My name is ... :My name is ...

• How much?: How much?
• Here you are: You come here often?
• Do you speak Esperanto?: You speak English?
  
• I don't understand you: I don't understand
• Thank you: Cheers
• You're welcome: np
• Please: PLEASE!?
• Here's to your health: How's it going?
• Bless you!
• Okay:Right ... ?

• It is a nice day: It's not raining*
  
• I would like a [one] beer, please: Four beers, please.
  
• What is that?: ???

* I live in Galway in Ireland, kinda, and there's a saying (Galway is a county in Ireland and south of it you can see another county, Claire, over a small bit of sea): If you can see Claire, it's going to rain, if not it's raining. Ireland rains a little more than I like.

[joshSCH]

haha.. I also prefer the english language..

hmm.. Thanks for that random, brief information about where you live ;) lol

[twomers]

>> Thanks for that random, brief information about where you live :P lol

>>It is a nice day: It's not raining*

Did you not notice the * ?? I was referring to the English language.

Besides, it's only for the summer. It'll take more than that to come up with a good kidnap plan to get me. You're going to have to sort out accommodation, flights, transport and the cheapest way to do that is by booking early. Ye have till september 14th :D

[joshSCH]

heh?

lol.. I love that 'ye'...

[twomers]

You might "corrupt" me into saying you.

The thing that annoys me is you can be singular or plural. It's normally obvious when it's one or another. But sometimes you (plural, I changed from ye :)), or one, doesn't know until after what it was. I'm going it for ... ye.

[joshSCH]

you is singular and yall is plural :)

[twomers]

You're singular!

[EnderX]

One of the things we lost when Middle English transformed into the modern version of the tounge. Thee, Thou, Thy, etc...all were second person singular. Ye, You, etc...all were second person plural. As far as I know, the only dialect that still retains that divide is the American Southern dialect. Do y'all get what I mean?

[joshSCH]

lol.. We ain't keep thou, thy, etc.. that sounds too gay lol..

yall come back now, ya here?
I hate when people talk in that deep south drawl.. they just sound like dumbasses

[twomers]

Believe me a north Dublin growl is much worse.

[Aia]

.. they just sound like dumbasses

You must be a very gifted person, if you can understand how those
animals sound like.

[sk8ndestroy14]

Yeah, I was born in Alabama. I lived there until I was almost ten then moved here to Ohio. I can't stand the southern accent sometimes.

[sk8ndestroy14]

You must be a very gifted person, if you can understand how those
animals sound like.

I have to be a translator sometimes. But it's weird cause I lived there almost ten years but I don't have a southern accent at all.

[Aia]

I have to be a translator sometimes. But it's weird cause I lived there almost ten years but I don't have a southern accent at all.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I lived in the USA for almost fourteen years and I don't have a southern accent neither. ;)

[sk8ndestroy14]

I heard from a teacher once that the southern accent was actually proven to be the closest in relation to the way that the original settlers sounded like when they first came to America. (And since this is the "We need to laugh" thread) it must be because they were the slowest to advance. Har har. Lol.

[joshSCH]

I have to be a translator sometimes. But it's weird cause I lived there almost ten years but I don't have a southern accent at all.

You might not think you do, but you probably do somewhat. I remember going up to NYC on a school theater trip, and they all knew immediately that we were from Texas.. And to be honest, I don't think I have any accent at all.. but maybe it was just b/c we didn't speak with that northern accent.

I heard from a teacher once that the southern accent was actually proven to be the closest in relation to the way that the original settlers sounded like when they first came to America. (And since this is the "We need to laugh" thread) it must be because they were the slowest to advance. Har har. Lol.

:angry: haha..

[jbennet]

Yeah i dont think i have an accent at all but apparently i sound really scottish

[EnderX]

I heard from a teacher once that the southern accent was actually proven to be the closest in relation to the way that the original settlers sounded like when they first came to America. (And since this is the "We need to laugh" thread) it must be because they were the slowest to advance. Har har. Lol.

Nah, it's just because the South is the real guardian of tradition.

[maker1]

well how about these.. :cool:

Cigarette:
A Pinch Of Tobacco Rolled In Paper With Fire At One End & A Fool At The Other.

Love Affairs:
Something Like Cricket Where One-Day
Internationals Are More Popular Than A Five Day Test.

Marriage:
It's An Agreement In Which A Man Loses His Bachelor Degree
And A Woman Gains Her Master...

Divorce:
Future Tense Of Marriage...

Lecture:
An Art Of Transferring Information From The Notes Of The Lecturer
To The Notes Of The Students Without Passing Through "The Minds Of Either".

Conference:
The Confusion Of One Man Multiplied By The Number Present...

Compromise:
The Art Of Dividing A Cake In Such A Way That Everybody Believes He Got The Biggest Piece.

Tears:
The Hydraulic Force By Which Masculine Will-Power Is Defeated By Feminine Water-Power.

Dictionary:
A Place Where Divorce Comes Before Marriage and Success Before Work...

Conference Room:
A Place Where Everybody Talks, Nobody Listens & Everybody Disagrees Later On.

Ecstasy:
A Feeling When You Feel You Are Going To Feel A Feeling You Have Never Felt Before.

Classic:
A Book Which People Praise, But Do Not Read.

Smile:
A Curve That Can Set A Lot Of Things Straight.

Office:
A Place Where You Can Relax After Your Strenuous Home Life.

Yawn:
The Only Time Some Married Men Ever Get To Open Their Mouth.

Etc.:
A Sign To Make Others Believe That You Know More Than You Actually Do.

Committee:
Individuals Who Can Do Nothing Individually And Sit To Decide That Nothing Can Be Done Together.

Experience :
The Name Men Give To Their Mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An Invention To End All Inventions.

Philosopher:
A Fool Who Torments Himself During Life, To Be Spoken Of When Dead.

Diplomat:
A Person Who Tells You To Go To Hell In Such A Way That You Actually Look Forward To The Trip.

Opportunist:
A Person Who Starts Taking Bath If He Accidentally Falls Into A River.

Optimist:
A Person Who While Falling From Eiffel Tower Says In Midway "See I Am Not Injured Yet."

Pessimist:
A Person Who Says That O Is The Last Letter In ZERO, Instead Of The First Letter In Word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser:
A Person Who Lives Poor So That He Can Die Rich.

Father:
A Banker Provided By Nature.

Criminal:
A Guy No Different From The Rest... Except That He Got Caught.

Boss:
Someone Who Is Early When You Are Late And Late When You Are Early.

Politician:
One Who Shakes Your Hand Before Elections And Your Confidence After.

Doctor:
A Person Who Kills Your Ills By Pills, And Kills You With His Bills.

Ha Ha really nice