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Hello, I'm cosicave because that's where I live. (out in the green countryside of central England).

Making no assumptions, perhaps I should clarify that England is one of the four countries which make up the U.K. And that "U.K." refers to the United Kingdom.

And just to show how helpful and thorough I am, it is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Incidentally, Great Britain consists of only three of the four countries which make up the U.K., these being England, Scotland and Wales.

I hope this clarifies rather than confuses, for those who live in places beyond the said boundaries and particularly anyone not living in one of the remaining 'British Commonwealth' countries such as Canada, Australasia (including New Zealand, Tasmania, Papua New Guinea and a load of other bits), Singapore, Malaysia, most of the continent of Africa, loads of places near and including India, the Asian sub-continent, and hundreds of little dots scatterred in the vastness of the Pacific, Atlantic, and Indian oceans. Also some other bits we nicked on our travels like the Falkland Islands and perhaps the funniest of all: Gibraltar! (Oh and a handful of strategic places in the Meditteranean such as Malta and Cyprus). Woops, nearly forgot Jamaica and those other places around the Carribean and some of South America. -Where would we be without them?... Confusingly, the above is sometimes condensed into the more or less palatable 'British Empire' but due to political correctness, this phrase seems to be less 'common' these days (sic). (That's a joke but some might prefer to say 'sick!). -(And that was another one). Have you noticed how confusing this language can be? Whoa! -It's ENGLISH.

And, to show what a nice guy I am, apologies to all who's country I have omitted, but keeping track of the 2 billion population of this 'Commonwealth' is tricky these days. -It wasn't me it was my great, great grandad OK? And to anyone in China, -you were lucky we just stayed in Hong Kong...

Oink!

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