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Hooded winter jacket with large inside pocket to conceal identity & carry gun: $65.00

9mm Handgun purchased from the local gun shop up the block: $150.00

Failure to retain your weapon during your planned armed robbery: PRICELESS!!!!!


What an idiot!

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Last Post by The Dude
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Clerk "Yes please wait in the back we will get it"

Guy "OK"

Clerk dials 911 "The guy is here wanting his piece back!"

911 "We will be right there"

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Wonder how many folks hold up a gun store with the gun they just purchased?

Loaded or unloaded?

And you'd have to be an idiot to hold up a gun store anyway...the clerk is probably armed, the customers are probably armed, etc...

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I collect stupid criminal events. Among my favorites are:

- The criminals tried to steal copper wire from a warehouse, so they rolled a 10-ton spool of coper wire off a loading dock into a half-ton pickup truck. That was one flat truck! All the tires blew out, and the bed was smashed down to the ground.

- Burglars were unable to fit the safe they stole into the pickup truck they brought, so they went to get a bigger truck. Meanwhile, the owner showed up, found his safe in the driveway, and called police. They told him to take everything out of the safe, lock it again, and leave it there. Police were waiting behind the bushes when the burglars returned.

- The mail bomber put his return address on the bomb. It was returned for insufficient postage, and his wife opened the package and blew both of them up.

- The drunk spent all night trying to break into a warehouse by trying to break a window. The door next to it was unlocked, and the warehouse was empty.

- The snatch thief grabbed a dozen multipack cartons of cigarettes, raced toward the door of the convenience store, and knocked himself out against the locked side of a twin door set.

- The owners of the house came home to find a burglar with all of their valuables piled beside him, playing a video game on their TV. He was still playing it when the police got there.

- The bank robber locked his keys in the getaway car.

- The bank robber walked across the street from the bank and paid his cell phone bill.

- While the husband was robbing the store, the wife was filling out a contest form, complete with name and address.

- The getaway vehicle from a bank robbery had signs for the robber's business on the sides.

- The robber stole a package out of the bank's armored car and got --- blank deposit receipt forms.

- A snatch thief grabbed a Wal-Mart bag from a woman walking her dog in a park two blocks from my house. He got the dog droppings the city law makes her pick up.

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