Tech joke of the day !

So no one with me to cheer up....ok then nothing else to do:$

there've been already like 3 or 4 joke threads...

Where it is ? I can't find please specify the path.

very funny

Where it is ? I can't find please specify the path.

http://www.daniweb.com/forums/search.php

From a google by redmarvel ...

A program is never finished until the programmer dies.
A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.
A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.
Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat [Y/N]?
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
Computers are like air-conditioners: both stop working properly, if you open windows.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software is Only for Fools and Teenagers.
Oxymoron: "Microsoft Works"
The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.

http://www.daniweb.com/forums/search.php

Thanks hollystyles for putting link here.

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier
and says: “Ah, you’re an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You’ve had too good of a life, so now you can’t come in here.”
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators.
The computers are all upgraded and there are speaker wires running to every room. Even the clocks on the VCRs are set. The engineer becomes a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls up Satan on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”
Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators. The computers are faster than ever and we’ve got music in every room. There’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake, he should never have gotten down there! Send him back up here, now.”
Satan shouts back, “No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”
God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right… and just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?”

http://celobox.googlepages.com/god.html

^guess it happens to everyone... :P

that didn't half drag on Mit, good though.

it happens to everyone. that is the misery of programming

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called the computer guy, to come over, he clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?" The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote out ... I D 1 0 T

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: Jokes are not written by me its collected from different sites.

Just watch out so you don't commit any more...or any pebkac errors.

How I was born ...

The little boy asks his father - "Daddy, how was I born?"

Dad responds, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said:

"You've got male!"

lol... good one...

How I was born ...

The little boy asks his father - "Daddy, how was I born?"

Dad responds, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said:

"You've got male!"

Please post only clean jokes..dont mind:)

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"

Just watch out so you don't commit any more...or any pebkac errors.

gonna regret this but pebkac?

Problem
Exists
Between
Keyboard
And
Chair

ahh ok, heard that one before :D slightly differnt version i think though.

Possibly PEBMAC - M = Monitor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PICNIC ?

PEBMAC, yar. There's a doctored windows error message as well somewhere with that on it. hehe.

it look like that you all are making jokes on me ??!!!!!!

I prefer WOMBAT
Waste
Of
Money
Brains
And
Time

WOMBAT at large..!!!!!

Dear Grandson:
I have become a little older since I saw you last,
and a few changes have come into my life since then.
Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal.
I am seeing five gentlemen everyday. As soon as I
wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then
I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along,
and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and
attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up
and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to
stay in one place very long, so he takes me from
joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really
tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.
What a life. Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.
Love,
Grandma
P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said
at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I
told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where
I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or
down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I
here after?"

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
" Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.<> " Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
" Yes -- so what?"
" Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it know?"