I just got off the phone. It was an interesting call. It was a technician from Microsoft calling to tell me that my computer had been sending a lot of fault data to Microsoft and that he was going to remote in to fix the problem.

First he had me locate the Windows key on my keyboard. Then he had me press that plus R to open the Run dialog. Then he asked me to type in cmd. I did, then reported back that I now had a black window on my screen. He told me to type assoc. I did just that. He then asked if I could see a long line near the bottom with the string CLSID in it. He told me this stood for Customer Licence Server ID. He said this was the number being reported back to Microsoft.

How could I possibly doubt him after that?

Then he had me run msinfo32 and expand Software Environment then click on Windows Error Reporting. I expressed (mock) alarm at all of the entries noting fault bucket.... He said these were the errors being reported.

Then he said he would take remote control to fix the errors. He asked me to enter www.supremofree.com into the Run dialog. At that point I asked him "how f##king stupid do you think I am?" He replied that he didn't think I was stupid at all. I told him that I was smart enough to know that CLSID did not stand for Customer Licence Server and smart enough to know that Microsoft NEVER calls people to help them. Then I told him to bite me before I hung up.

It was a slow day so I figured I could just waste his time for a while and see where he led me. All things considered, though, at least he offered to help. That's more than Microsoft ever did.

Next time I'm just going to blast my air horn into the phone.

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That was popular in New Zealand about 2 years ago. The first couple of times I got called they always said it was 'Windows' calling about emails my computer was sending. They eventually realised that was incorrect and started saying they were Microsoft.
Each time I told them I worked in IT and knew they were bullshitting me but they kept calling back (weeks apart). The last time I unleashed a fake angry torrent of abuse I didn't even know I was capable of maintaining for as long as I did. Eventually the guy hung up and I guess I finally got added to their black list.
But for them to be so persistant it must be working enough of the time...

Tax season here so the calls are now the IRS demanding immediate payment. By Western Union.

Right....

My younger son says I should just play stupid (don't go there) and see how long I can keep them on the line. I figure if I do stupid as well as hard of hearing (only one of those is true. Again, don't go there) I should be able to stretch it out for an hour or more.

My brother received a call that was from the IRS about the middle of December and they wanted him to go to Kroger and buy Prepaid credit cards and give them the card numbers, pins and CVS or the treasury agents were coming by his house to pick him up today.... Since he owes back taxes he almost fell for it.....

But for those of us who enjoy making the scammers squirm a little you will enjoy this TED talk where the tech responded to one of the spam emails. I laughed till my sides hurt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QdPW8JrYzQ

ive never got a call like this. but if i do..ill think of some idea to p*ss him off lol :)

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