Re: FBI and Wikimedia Go a Few Rounds Community Center Geeks' Lounge by Biker920 Lawyer Mark Godwin needs to go back to grammar school and … this being an unlawful action Wikimedia is wrong and the lawyer needs to stop twisting facts. Later--- Re: Word Association Game Community Center Geeks' Lounge by mikeandike22 lawyer-->court anybody think this thread is getting ridiculous Re: Word Association Game Community Center Geeks' Lounge by GreenDay2001 Lawyer -> Court Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by BestJewSinceJC …don't think they are: "A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached…. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when… bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer. " /.... "An old man was on his death … Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by vegaseat What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by vegaseat … new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?"…;, said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"…'t it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?" Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by ahihihi... [B]You won't go to jail[/B] A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sk8ndestroy14 Hope this doesn't offend anyone. I heard from a guy I met at an airport, of all places. Q: You're in a room with a lawyer, Osama Bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein and you have a gun with two bullets. What do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula An engineer, a physicist and a lawyer were interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of … and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by vegaseat What's the difference between a lawyer and God? God doesn't think he's a lawyer. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula [QUOTE=Lardmeister;526558]Well, my dad is a very successful lawyer and has helped a lot of people in his life. … poorly paying job.[/QUOTE]Hey Lardmeister, the reason there are lawyer jokes is that the lawyers laugh at them the hardest… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula … night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win… souls of all your friends and law partners." The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by Zetlin … at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered…. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered, "He said 'You don't have the nerve… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by Ene Uran A lawyer was driving his shiny new BMW down the highway, singing …! And my god, your left arm is gone!" The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Gold Rolex! My Gold Rolex!"… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by vegaseat Q: "What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?" A: "Just another lawyer. There are some things even a pig won't do." Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by chrishea Even most lawyers like lawyer jokes so don't take any of these too personally. …. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator." _________________________ At a convention of biological… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by BestJewSinceJC …, “They aren’t all so bad. Why, last year a lawyer gave me $1000.” “I don’t believe it,” the host… had a complicated personal injury case and what with the lawyer’s fee, the cost of expert witnesses, the expense of…,000. When the judgment only amounted to $40,000, my lawyer simply forgave the difference.” Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed "Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man." The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?" Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by EnderX How many Lawyer Jokes are there in the world? Three. The rest are all true stories. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by MidiMagic Satan filed suit against God. God said he could easily win. Then Satan said, "Oh, really? Where are you going to get a lawyer?" Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula [QUOTE=MidiMagic;501596]California has 2/3 of the lawyers in the US because New Jersey got to choose first. They chose toxic waste instead.[/QUOTE]Oh yeah California, where your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag, and your lawyer is Perry Mason on pot. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do, and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by Dave Sinkula …-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility.[quote]Q… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by MidiMagic Where there's a will, there's a lawyer's bill. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by ZZucker When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sneekula A local lawyer defending a drunk driver couldn't show up in court because he had been arrested for drunk driving. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by EnderX "Did you hear? Old man Smith's found a way to insure the lawyer's don't get any more of his money than his kids do." "How'd he do it?" "He left half his estate to one of the best lawyers around, provided the other half gets to his heirs intact." Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by sk8ndestroy14 … on to regional competition. I played the part of defense lawyer so I felt pretty good. If we win this we… Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by Lardmeister [QUOTE=vmanes;524503]99% of lawyers make the the other 1% look bad.[/QUOTE]Well, my dad is a very successful lawyer and has helped a lot of people in his life. Something he and I are proud off. Looks like this thread is more about envy, by folks who have an unsuccessful and poorly paying job. Re: Lawyer Joke of the Day Community Center Geeks' Lounge by EnderX No, it's about the stereotype of who/what a lawyer is. According to the stereotype, Lawyers: a) manage to get rich, but without any 'real' effort behind it. b) are, effectively, forced to be dishonest by their profession. c) are generally not seen as benefiting their fellow man in the same way that, say, a doctor does.