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Google: The new religion

A religion typically consists of a being (or a collection of beings) that exists.

Google isn't exactly a being, but it does exist. Some people even consider it a godlike entity.


For a typical god, you provide a ritual or some kind of prayer. This prayer typically takes a long time, and may not be answered.

For Google, you insert your prayer in the search form and click search (or conveniently click enter) and your prayer is answered within seconds.


A typical god provides a blessing to an individual. That blessing depends on the mood of the god.

For Google, the blessing is straightforward. Need an image? Search images. Need a calculation done? Insert some numbers and a few code words (like mul I believe). Conversions are also done.


A typical god will have a place of prayer carved from the most devout believers to enable individuals with the same faith to pray to that god.

www.google.com is the temple of Google.


A typical god has a natural born enemy (such as Jehova and his brother lucifer, or Zeus and Hades, etc).

Yahoo! is the devil, and let me explain why.

Yahoo, sadly, is the default site an individual is directed to when they accidentally click on an email link.

Yahoo's chatrooms are crappy, buggy and full of 1337speakers who think they are the gods of the universe (which may be true if universe means nothing).

Yahoo's search engine is slower, and has a tendancy to use similar indexes on future pages.

The word Yahoo implies that you will have an enjoyable experience when you use it. This is a sign of deceit, of which many devils in history are known for.

Yahoo doesn't just want you to search for information you need - it want's to distract you with enticing personals, news that nobody cares about, and occasionally photos of women that think they're pretty but really aren't!

Google is much more straightforward. It provides a very simple interface for users to do exactly what they came for - get information they need.

Google is the solution. Google is the future.

Alex Edwards
Posting Shark
972 posts since Jun 2008
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Searchig engine of Google is suspected to do extrapollation based on his database ...
This has been proved with mathematical appliance on a website ...
So can I be called an agnostic if I don't believe in google ? ^^

Beldrak
Newbie Poster
2 posts since Aug 2008
Reputation Points: 10
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Searchig engine of Google is suspected to do extrapollation based on his database ... This has been proved with mathematical appliance on a website ... So can I be called an agnostic if I don't believe in google ? ^^

I thought agnostic implied that one doesn't follow a religion, but that individual believes there is room (or chance) for something beyond us to exist?

A "Noncommittal Individual" to say the least.

If you don't believe in Google, but have reason to believe that there's a possibility it exists (as a godlike entity) then I suppose so... but really this topic is a joke I made up after elaborate discussions about google at work #_#

Yes... elaborate discussions about google at work...

Don't ask >_>

Alex Edwards
Posting Shark
972 posts since Jun 2008
Reputation Points: 392
Solved Threads: 108
 

^^Alex Edwards
Nice Comparison :)

...one more
GOD = Google Oriented Development.

DangerDev
Posting Pro in Training
485 posts since Jan 2008
Reputation Points: 165
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I thought agnostic implied that one doesn't follow a religion, but that individual believes there is room (or chance) for something beyond us to exist?

Gnostic/Gnosticism is a syncretistic religious movement that tries to merge Abrahamic beliefs with 'a' is a prefix meaning 'not' as in atheist means not a theist; agnostic means not a gnostic. Meanings of the negatives have drifted.

Sometimes, i worry about google - their motto is 'do no evil' but they bought doubleclick. I have Google-Analytics and GoogleSyndication completely forbidden on my system using NoScript.

GrimJack
Posting Maven
2,920 posts since Feb 2004
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I am gonna hack google. (dream of a child) :cool:

architact
Junior Poster
115 posts since Apr 2008
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Google a God?? You gotta be _____ me.

sittas87
Nearly a Posting Virtuoso
1,312 posts since Apr 2008
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Reality says yes!

vegaseat
DaniWeb's Hypocrite
Moderator
5,976 posts since Oct 2004
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I am waiting for Max Headroom to show up as Google's head priest/spokeshead

GrimJack
Posting Maven
2,920 posts since Feb 2004
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Wonderful organization, they have answered my prayers many times!

Attachments google_logo.gif 8.36KB
Ene Uran
Posting Virtuoso
1,722 posts since Aug 2005
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Wonderful organization, they have answered my prayers many times!

Mine have been answered too by the same organization. Great for doing homework. May the Superior Omnipresent Being bless them with all force!

Lardmeister
Posting Virtuoso
1,749 posts since Mar 2007
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Mine have been answered too by the same organization. Great for doing homework. May the Superior Omnipresent Being bless them with all force!

Superior Omnipresent Being? SOB may be an unrighteous remark.

sneekula
Nearly a Posting Maven
2,427 posts since Oct 2006
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This article has been dead for over three months

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