North American Thoughts

[sneekula]

This thread includes thoughts from and about our Canadian friends too.

US Elections:
Too much Pluribus, not enough Unum.

[sneekula]

I have a lot of friends in Canada (just a few miles away from my place) and they tell me that these are the Canadian national song lyrics:

"First come the black flies,
Then the Horse flies,
Then the Deer flies,
Then the snow flies!"

[sneekula]

You May Be A Canadian ...

You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk"
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
You know that francophones, or anglophones are not electronic devices.
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel
to and has good cigars.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it
instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't
want to know if he has!
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

[sneekula]

Top 10 Reasons for being North American:

1. You can have a woman president without electing her

2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it

3. You can call Budweiser a beer

4. You can be a crook and still be president

5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything

6. If you can breathe you can get a gun

7. You can invent a new public holiday every year

8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care

9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"

[sneekula]

Typical official communications between Canadians and their neighbours to the South.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."

Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Missouri. We are a large warship of the US Navy. DIVERT YOUR COURSE *NOW*."

Canadians: "We are a lighthouse. Your call."

[sneekula]

Five leading countries the US imports oil from (in 1000 Barrels/Day):

CANADA 1,883 SAUDI ARABIA 1,479 MEXICO 1,124 VENEZUELA 1,085 NIGERIA 946

[Ancient Dragon]

Typical official communications between Canadians and their neighbours to the South.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."

Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Missouri. We are a large warship of the US Navy. DIVERT YOUR COURSE *NOW*."

Canadians: "We are a lighthouse. Your call."

That is very funny, but I hope you realize that Canadians and Mexicans are also Americans.America refers to the North American continent, not the USA.

[Ene Uran]

If we call folks from Mexico Mexicans and folks from Canada Canadians, what do we call the folks that live in the good old USA?

Also, America refers to North, Central and South America.

[vegaseat]

If we call folks from Mexico Mexicans and folks from Canada Canadians, what do we call the folks that live in the good old USA? ......

Yankee Doodles? Good question, since Americans would be inhabitants of the entire American continent. I demand congressional action to clear this up!!!

[sneekula]

We are all Americans.

[GrimJack]

I love it, thank! I needed that.

[sneekula]

Showing a toilet on early US TV was so taboo, that the first toilet ever seen on TV wasn't until the comedy series "Leave It to Beaver."

Things have changed a little since then!

[Lardmeister]

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
(quoted by a fine American, Albert Einstein)

[ZZucker]

Canada has no president. Canada's government is a Parliamentary democracy (federal constitutional monarchy) whose Monarch is Queen Elizabeth II. Canada has a Prime Minister.

[bumsfeld]

Colorado and Hawaii are the only two states in the United States where all the water flows out of the state.

Love that Coors stuff!

[vegaseat]

Vancouver Canada is tied with Zurich Switzerland for the highest quality of life of any city in the world.

[Dave Sinkula]

Awww. Two leaches on the back of working folk.

[sneekula]

Awww. Two leaches on the back of working folk.

????????????????

[ZZucker]

Alaska is the US state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work.

[Lardmeister]

21% of the people that live in Wyoming have no teeth.