Johnny Depp is NOT dead!

[happygeek]

Just in case there are any Johnny Depp fans in the lounge, you might want to read our breaking news story here on DaniWeb about how the actor is NOT dead, despite what Twitter trends and many other early reports are saying.

We did a little research and revealed all.

[jonsca]

Geez Happygeek, everybody knows the real Johnny Depp was taken and placed into hiding in a secure facility 5 years ago. The stand-in is a convincing replica but if you know your "21 Jumpstreet" you can clearly tell it's a fake. So even if he did "die" rest assured that the real Johnny is alive and well.

[happygeek]

My secret is out. I am Johnny Depp. How did you know? :)

[jonsca]

Because I happen to know you look nothing like your Avatar, so by extension you very well could be Johnny Depp. The question is, are you prepared as an adult to go undercover in a high school to bust up drug rings and gangs, all the while teaching kids a little something about life. I realize he's had quite a legitimate career since then but I'm stuck in the 80's (the good parts only).

[happygeek]

My wife is a fan of the Johnny Depp 'good parts' as well - but we had better not go there.

[jonsca]

Touché... Well, naturally since you're Johnny Depp, she should be. I meant the music and some tv shows.

[happygeek]

I just wish she loved me for my great taste in hats and facial hair.

[jonsca]

If I knew you better I would ask "Is this the dirty baseball cap pulled down to your eyes with the 5 day old scruff look?" I wish more women dug that look.

[happygeek]

Currently it's the army cap, soul patch and stubble look. Goes well with the 6'2" and 210lbs heavily tattooed frame.

Obviously I slim down a bit and CGI remove the full sleeves and backpiece for movie roles...

[jonsca]

I must say, Happygeek, I swore more people were going to join in our mock elation over the news of Johnny Depp's undeadedness. Oh well, their loss.

[crunchie]

He died last night in Public Enemies! I watched him get shot. It was about 20.15Hrs.

[jonsca]

Nope. That was the double, you could so tell. The real Depp is none other than our own Happygeek. He's all but admitted it. Don't you see his clever attempt to redirect attention to an article where he refers to himself (Depp) in the third person.

[crunchie]

I don't know how that can be when he has said that He's the Daddy!
ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, that's 3rd person too. I think you're on to something my dear Watson.

[happygeek]

I'm Ray Winston as well. Who's the Daddy?

[jonsca]

His title ("He's the daddy") could be taken in so many very different ways I try not to think about it. But you see my point. The game is afoot.

EDIT: He just showed up! Omnipresence as well?

[crunchie]

EDIT: He just showed up! Omnipresence as well?

I can see from his avatar that his ears were burning. A sure sign of omniauditoryperception.

[jonsca]

omathinga-whatta? :) That was the biggest shock for me to find out that he didn't really look like his avatar.

[happygeek]

Actually, to nit-pick, it is the other way around: my avatar does not look like me whereas I look remarkably like my avatar.