Rusty the Rooster.

[Aia]

Listening today to some podcast segment of news, I heard the words of our ex-vice president Al Gore saying: ( I am not quoting, I am paraphrasing).
"Our planet has a fever. If your child has a fever you take it to the doctor. And if the doctor tells you to take action, you don't say what it needs to be done, because I read it in a fiction book".
Obviously, I took that he was talking about "Global Warming". Unconciencely, I started to brainstorm on a story, that somehow I must had heard part from somewhere that I don't recall.
Now if you indulge me with kindness by over looking my improper grammar, I shall write the result for you to read.

Rusty. The rooster that could dream, but not sleep.

Rusty the rooster lived at the time when humans started to learn how to take care of his kind; for useful purposes. Rusty suffered of insomnia. Tired of ruffling his feathers all night, he decided to go for a walk in the still dark early morning. Pondering about his troubles, he thought: Wouldn't be wonderful if it would be daytime already?. If only that lazy ball of fire would arise from its sleep. You see, humans are not the only ones to find relief in blaming others for their sufferings. Any way, let's continue with the story. Half conscience of it, he jumped to the fence's post and with a scratchy voice crowed: COCK – A – DOODLE – DO !!!. Which loosely, in chicken language means: Wake up, you lazy ball of fire!!!. Not short of when he said that, some bright rays of light started to merge out at the distance. And the sun's face to show. With amazement in his beak, he thought. I have woke it with my voice. The ball of fire awoke at my command. Pride in chest, to his roosty business, off the fence he went. Next day, at the same hour, he crowed again. And to his surprise, the sun in front of him started to grow. This just proves it. Intelligently he reasoned. That lazy ball of fire obeys my voice command. Not gone the week was when the news of his wondrous power every chicken knew. Fame bestowed at his roosty persona, was not a rumor. And by the end of two weeks, a whole ritual he was used to perform. Where he would crow and dance a little bit, and crow a little more. As surely as he was a rooster on a post, the sun always would arise of its stupor. Gone were the memories of time of old, new memories proved that certainly the sun would not come from sleep, without the rooster deeds. One summer solstice morning, our most important Rusty, reasoning again we found. If I command the ball in the sky to raise now, we would have more day light to enjoy, to go our marry way around. And so, the ritual performed. Rooster of roosters, what marvel magic your voice carry, the sun his face not more buried. As a matter of pride, everyday, earlier and earlier, the rooster at the post we could find. Summer almost gone, an earlier rain come. Today I would get wet, but my duty can't neglect. With faith in his destiny, his mission out side performed. And wet he got, up to the little feathers inside. By middle day, obvious was, that talk he could not. Terror, and horror now set, tomorrow the sun would not rise, after today's sunset. A thousand accounts of misfortune, upon our lives will come if tomorrow somehow, his command he will not pronounce. Sacrifice of sacrifices we must do, they said. Give him some eggs to eat, to clear throat and beak. At length, all night, continued the debate. Not short of noise and distress. When a farmer's hand inside the chicken coop appears. Grabbed by his neck , Rusty we found, almost choked with tears. Rusty the rooster his end met, when the farmer, tired of these early crows, his head chopped off, before the sun arose. Good rid off this rooster will be, and good feast mid-day to be. Farmer said. And so, we end, with Roasted Rusty Rooster in a plate laying down; in the middle of a table banquet; outside in the yard; in an oddly enough, pleasant sunny day, at the end of summer days. The End.

The moral of the story: Before you think you can change the temperature of the whole world, you must learn how to crow COCK – A – DOODLE – DO !!!. in rooter language, and make the sun appear.

What do you thing of the moral of the story?. What would be the moral of the story for you?.

[lasher511]

Is it just me or does that Al Gore make very little sense to you. The first bit made it seem like he was on the right track but the line about the fiction book threw me way off.

Thats a good story although im not so sure about the moral. Might just be me but it seemed to confuse me more then anything.

To me it seems like a good moral is that just because the planet heating up as a result of greenhouse gases (crying Cock-a-doodle-doo) does not mean that it is the cause and even with the greenhouse gases taken out of the picture(the rooster getting the chop) then the planet will continue to heat up(the sun will continue to rise).

I could be way off with this but being one of these people who does not "believe" in all of the arguments for why global warming is occuring/if it is occuring this is what i got out of it.

Good job Aia

Edit: Dunno if my positive Rep worked or not Aia IE 7 was playing up but let me know if it diddn't.

[lasher511]

For those of you interested in Global warming it seems that Mars may be going through the same Climate changes as well. Although several theories have been produced as to why this may be occuring and i have included a few links to information on this or you can get some more by googling things like mars global warming.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/02/070228-mars-warming.html

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1720024.ece

[Dave Sinkula]

Listening today to some podcast segment of news, I heard the words of our ex-vice president Al Gore saying: ( I am not quoting, I am paraphrasing). "Our planet has a fever. If your child has a fever you take it to the doctor. And if the doctor tells you to take action, you don't say what it needs to be done, because I read it in a fiction book".

I think the Rev. Al Gore is doing a fine job of proselytizing his cult religion.

[Aia]

I was been sarcastic in my own way with the moral of the tale. You are free to draw your own conclusions.
I didn't want to dispute or affirm the so called `Global warming'.
I was trying to make a satiric of how ridiculous we can be, when we obtain a little knowledge and we act like we know everything is to be known.

It is as impossible to man to change the course of this earth as it is impossible for man to extend his arm and reverse the course of the river Mississippi upstream.

[Ezzaral]

It is as impossible to man to change the course of this earth as it is impossible for man to extend his arm and reverse the course of the river Mississippi upstream.

Perhaps, but it wouldn't hurt if we at least tried to not trash the hell out of it like we have been for way too many years :)

[Aia]

Most gracious people.
Allow me to share with you an experience I had today.
Walking to a corner of the factory, was I, when a sudden realization overwhelmed me and I looked at my right foot, lifted in the process of taking the next step.
What if by letting my foot to go down, I become the perpetrator of the extintion of specie micro-organism MCO345892-A?.
This awareness terrified me, and I couldn't in good conscience, put my right foot down. What if MCO345892-A is the only one left of its kind?. For millions of years this specie flourish, and because of human intervention now they are almost gone.
Darn, people walking everywhere extinguished them.
I was doing pretty good holding my leg up, until I remembered the reason of my walk to that particular area of the factory. I needed, badly, to
go to the restroom. I couldn't hold it any longer.
I ran to the restroom, and I barely made it.
Afterwards, I felt very guilty of being so wicked.
Writing about it makes me feel very distressed, however its the least I could do in memory of specie MCO345892-A.
I have finally been sensitized by all those `Enviromental Grops' making such a difference. After all I want to make a difference, until the next time I have to go to the bathroom.

[Ezzaral]

There is a difference between acting in a responsible manner and zealotry. Unfortunately many "Environmental Groups" fail to make a distinction =\

[lasher511]

*coughalgorecough*

Im all for taking care of the planet but alot of the things proposed seem silly and over the top. Infact the only difference between now and the 60's is that today there is a greater audience for these beliefs that we have to take a stand now or we're all going to be doomed.

Was sitting down to lunch the other day and overheard a conversation about people not using their wood burning fireplaces because of the carbon dioxide emissions that they create. Thankfully i bit my tongue and diddnt scream "Are you mad!?" and explain how its probably a more efficient way to heat your house as long as you have all these modern day house building technologis such as "insulation". Plus fireplaces are usually made from either Iron or brick/stone both things that retain heat for alot longer once the fire is burnt out then modern forms of heating which don't retain any heat whatsoever once turned off. Not to mention alternate forms of heating run on electricity unless the area you live in is on a hydro sceme, which i doubt it is, then chances are either coal or oil is being used to create that electricity neither of which incedentaly are renewable sources of energy and both create carbon emissions.

We have used fire since probably the start of time! Infact its seen today as probably one of our most useful inventions. So why all of a sudden is it seen as a bad thing?

[Aia]

Well, I would love to see any environmental organization trying to stop Mount St. Helens from spewing ashes, brimstone and lava next time.

No, no. Bad Volcano, bad volcano!.

[lasher511]

"Thats not true we taught a lion to eat Tofu!"

[quintoncoert]

@ Aia

I am not entirely surewhat you are trying to say. So before i make a fool of myself let me ask you if you are saying what i think you are trying to say.

are you saying that the earth warming up is some natural process and that we humans are in fact grossly mistaken to believe that we can somehow raise the temperature of the planet? because that is what the moral of your story seems to suggest. especially since you went and back it up by saying that we cannot reverse the flow of the mississipi back upstream.

if that is what you are saying then i have to say. perhaps you are right in that we cannot reverse the flow of a river. but we can in fact do many things with a river. we can change its path( not drastically i admit) we can reduce its flow and water level. we can polute it. the list goes on.

and to get back to the story of rusty. the sun did not need rusty to rise. that is true. in fact the crowing of the cock was a result of sunrise. i.e. he started to crow in response to slow sunrise and ended up believing that the sun rise in response to his voice.

if you want to compare it to human greenhouse gasses and global warming you are in fact saying that we are emitting greenhouse gasses in response to the earth warming up. this is illogical. even if english is not your native tongue you can follow my argument. you have your cause and effect reversed here. rusty's crowing is the result of sunrise. even if in his limited mind he believed the opposite. our greenhouse gasses is not the result of global warming.

now it is possible that global warming is not the result of greenhouse gasses and if that is your argument then i must admit that you might have a point.

but al gore is right. the earth does have some strange symptoms and until we can be sure that it is as natural to earth as puberty is to a human child we might want to consider a thorough examination in case it is in fact disease.

[Aia]

I apologize. When I wrote the Rusty story, I was mad at Al Gore and his environmental acolytes.
Truth to be told. I was bitter, because a spokesman for Al Gore sent me a “cease and desist” e-mail, against my business.
I was told that the product I was selling in ebay.com it was too similar to their product, for which they
already have secured rights and pattens. That my product was too environmentally friendly, a concept that they solely, hold all legal rights to.

I was selling a 32 FL OZ glass bottle filled with pure, fresh, lunar air. Guarantied not to have been breathed by any human before.
I am not even allowed to show you a picture of it. However, if you hurry and Google it, you might be able to see it.
My product was called:
iMoon-u.

I was doing quite well with its catchy name thanks to the iPhone hype.
Oh, well, I suppose a good thing out of it would be Apple can not sue me now.

Disclaimer: For those of you, still using a slow CPU, like the Pentium II, between your ears. I do not
exist. Any similarities to actual names or places have been purely coincidental. The name of Al Gore
is a work of fiction.

[Rashakil Fol]

Carbon credits are 21st century indulgences.

[Ezzaral]

I hope to cash mine in for coffee mugs, teeshirts and other prizes.

[lasher21]

Uh, Aia that seems to be quite the story there....a bit off of the topic of Al Gore's relentless landslide into foolishness. Are you on any mood balancing drugs or, perhaps, should you be? Your English seems to be suffering from a mild case of, ...oh how should I put this? You're not from around here are you? In closing, I look forward to more of your amusing insights.

Treachery is just a matter of timing and who wins in the end.

[lasher21]

Aia seems to be up to his old tricks, i.e.
Selling ill gotten items on eBay, tisk tisk. You should have know the man would come down on you with his iron fist. It sounds like you have entirely too much free time on you hands. Although, if you you paid attention to my last post, I foresee some strong pharmaceuticals in your future and perhaps some basket weaving. I don't like being so harsh to someone I have never met in person but I think that with out my intervention you may harm yourself. Well, until we speak again, I suggest avoiding sharp objects, lengths of rope and firearms. Don't worry, I've got your back.

No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation. ~Douglas Macarthur ~

[quintoncoert]

@ Aia

Sorry for only responding now. You probably thought that I have forgotten all about you but actually, for reasons which shall soon be clear, I was away on Venus for the past few days and as you no doubt know the solar winds can make inter-planetary communication a nightmare at best. Especially during this time of the year.


>I apologize. When I wrote the Rusty story, I was mad at Al Gore and his environmental >acolytes.

Don’t worry about it. We are only human all of us.

>Truth to be told. I was bitter, because a spokesman for Al Gore sent me a “cease and desist” e-mail , against my >business.

I sympathize. The same thing happened to me when I tried to bring the benefits of modern economics to the native inhabitants of Alaska and North-west Canada by selling them solidly frozen water. My friend went through the same thing when he tried to sell salted water to the dolphins. In fact so enraged were we at the gross violation of anti-thrust legislation that we took the liberty of taking a trip to Venus and seeing Mr. Gore. He was there conducting a study on excessively carbonated oxygen.

>a concept that they solely, hold all legal rights to.

He immediately set the record straight. They were not trying to establish a monopoly, but were merely trying to protect the consumer. In fact they are planning to ban the sale of all moon based O2 by the year 2012.

Why you may ask. Extensive testing on human astronauts had proved that prolonged use of moon based O2 can lead to weak chest. In 94% of all cases the lungs tend to go on strike when the person returns to normal breathing. This is because moon based air contains notably less carbon dioxide then regular earth based air (see appendix A for more details.). Having seen what is possible in an environmentally friendly environment the lungs find themselves under the impression that breathing should be easy.


Appendix A:

Independent studies by a number of scientists in seven different countries have put a moon based atmosphere at some 87% less carbon dioxide than its earth based equivalent. Although they are unsure why, they have attributed this to, amongst others, to earth’s factories and cars. For those of you who might ask what the man in the moon uses for transportation; apparently they switch everything to solar power decades ago. Earthlings are at a distinct disadvantage in this regard since the moon, being up there in the sky, are fully in the sun.

Note:

Although it is only a rumour at this stage, we have had several sources informing us that the lungs are planning to up their protests. They have heard that no one had ever chopped down a tree on the moon and are demanding that humans stop.

Someone smuggled out the following excerpt from a conversation with one very disgruntled lung. Here is what the lung had to say. “We are only trying to do our job. Why are the humans destroying our tools? Everyone should have the right to earn a living.

[lasher511]

Aia seems to be up to his old tricks, i.e. Selling ill gotten items on eBay, tisk tisk. You should have know the man would come down on you with his iron fist. It sounds like you have entirely too much free time on you hands. Although, if you you paid attention to my last post, I foresee some strong pharmaceuticals in your future and perhaps some basket weaving. I don't like being so harsh to someone I have never met in person but I think that with out my intervention you may harm yourself. Well, until we speak again, I suggest avoiding sharp objects, lengths of rope and firearms. Don't worry, I've got your back. No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation. ~Douglas Macarthur ~

-Gasp- It appears as if i have a doppleganger.....

It sucks to hear that Aia sounded like it was a decent gimic product.

Just curious how did you come across this Luna air to begin with?

[Aia]

Just curious how did you come across this Luna air to begin with?

I own a little piece of real estate in the `minor crater area'.
Bought it when hardly no green men had yet come to live there.
Now, it is getting a little too crowded for me.
TheiMoon-u fresh air used to come all the way from there.